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What Women Love & Hate About Anal Sex

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What Women Love And Hate About Anal Sex

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Anal sex is one of the few remaining aspects of sex that many people consider risqué, perhaps even taboo.
However, that's beginning to change. Anal sex has gone mainstream with TV shows like The Mindy Project and Girls featuring anal play in primetime. "Many women who are considering anal sex for the first time have lots of questions. Most commonly, women have concerns that it will be painful, uncomfortable, and/or awkward. Nervous first-timers should start with plenty of foreplay, take things very slowly, and use lots of lube. Above all else, couples should be sure to communicate openly about what feels good and what doesn't," says Tristan Weedmark, We-Vibe 's global passion ambassador.
Of course, as in any other type of sexual connection, mutual trust is key.
Once you can get past the hang-ups or the fears many of us have, anal sex can open new doors to pleasure. "Many women and men experience the most intense orgasms through the new experience of anal exploration. Kick it up a notch for her by adding clitoral stimulation , either manually or with a powerful mini-vibe," says Weedmark.
But still, anal sex is one of those things women have very strong feelings about. Some love it, and some hate it… and for that reason, we got to the bottom of it (so to speak!) about how women really feel. Keep this in mind before broaching the back door in your own bedroom.
It feels really good when you take a good poop, so one would imagine that's the draw for trying some anal, right? Not really, says one woman I surveyed. "I've suffered from hemorrhoids from a very young age, so I had to be very comfortable applying creams to my butthole and using suppositories. I absolutely CRINGE at the thought of how the suppository makes its way up your canal before your anus closes and swallows it whole. It gives me the heebie-jeebies — like nails on a chalkboard. So, while I really like the satisfying feeling you get when something comes out of the butt, there's just no way I can fathom a cock going in there," says Alex, from Florida.
This seems to be the top reason as to why women say no to anal sex. "Let's face it. Guys that like being pegged enjoy it as it the dildo stimulates their prostate gland and that pleasure overrides most of the pain of entry," says Coleen Singer of Sssh.com , a porn site for women and couples. "Women don't have that benefit and unless totally relaxed and very well lubricated. Personally, if I haven't had anal sex for a while, I'll pop in a medium size butt plug for an hour or so before taking the penis as it relaxes the sphincter and makes penetration much more pleasant," says Singer.
Sometimes women are turned off by the hygienic and health aspects of anything going on in the backdoor. "Many women express concern about this as an issue, but as long as you poop and then everything is cleaned out prior with an enema beforehand, there is very little chance of catching anything in there! I prefer natural enemas with no scent as these tend to irritate the rectum which can lead to a painful experience," says Singer.
"Another thing I have heard from many women is that from the anatomical point of view there simply can be no pleasure out of anal sex for women," says Singer. Seriously. "'There's nothing up there that can actually make it feel good.' Although this simply isn't true (there are actually more nerve bundles in the rectum than in the vaginal cavity), a great number of women rely on this as one of their reasons for not wanting to engage in anal sex."
Many women say that a man's penis is just WAY to big to go in that itty-bitty hole. "I find that using a combination of a pre-anal sex butt plug and lots and lots of lube, this isn't the case though," says Singer.
Anal sex is just not something that is enjoyed by some women and, if not, this must be respected! Consent is extremely important when it comes to sex. Don't try to push she issue if she's really not into it.
Before we get to the reasons women love anal, here are some good anal lube options to stock up on if you're looking to give her an experience she'll love:
While silicone lube is often a no-no for toys, it's perfect for body-on-body action like anal. Backdoor Silicone Glide, an anal lube by Pjur, is thick and rich. With just a few drops, you'll be set — plus, it's condom- and non-silicone-toy-compatible.
If you're playing with silicone-based toys and need a water-based lube, Sliquid Sassy is a great option that's specifically intended for anal play. It's got a thicker texture than many water-based lubes as a result — almost gel-like — to offer you all the lubrication you need. As with all water-based lubes, it'll dry out faster than silicone, but a little bit of water splashed on the right area will "re-activate" it if you need a boost when it comes to the slippery factor.
Most women have a little wild streak in them and want to be a bad girl from time to time. "There's something alluring and mysterious about the dark side of desire. I personally swing between being the sexual dominant (including occasionally pegging my man) to being the submissive (which frequently includes having my guy's dick in my butt!)," says Singer.
It's all about getting there in the way that works for you, and then having fun with it. "Anal sex is great when you've been properly warmed up," says Angela White , an award-winning adult star. "That doesn't mean ramming a couple of dry fingers into my rectum and calling it foreplay. The anus is not self-lubricating like a pussy so you need to either use lubricants or provide plenty of spit. Also, if you're not man or woman enough to stick your tongue in my butthole then you're not sticking anything else in there," White says.
"As there are a lot of nerve bundles in the rectal canal, I know a number of women that say a combination of anal penetration and clit stimulation results in bone shaking, screaming orgasms," says Singer.
Relaxation is key and also making sure you're lubed up. "Like first timers, I mean really wet and slippery trust me sometimes that's the number one problem! The best sex position I've ever felt it in was laying on my stomach and he sneaked it in between my cheeks, laid down on top of me and rubbed my clit with one hand while supporting himself with the other, and whispering dirty things in my ear while nibbling on it," says Jillian Janson , an award-winning adult star.
Everyone likes it different, but the main point is positioning is key too. "The downfalls of anal is watching your diet and making sure your digestive system is on track. Which is why most professional porn stars are particular with what they eat, especially when they are planning a film shoot that involves anal sex," says Janson.
Be it spanking or paddling, nipple clips or anal sex, a bit of pain can really get the juices flowing for many women. "For me, it ramps up the energy during sex and often leads to a state of euphoria at the end (called "sub space" in BDSM terminology )," says Singer.
"My guy absolutely loves anal sex from time to time, so any time he does something particularly sweet, brave or helpful for me, I very often reward him with my waiting derriere. Not only does he totally appreciate me offering, but in the B.F. Skinner "operant conditioning" model of psychology, it reinforces him doing sweet, brave and helpful things in the future!" says Singer.
"I've tried it before and actually learned to relax and enjoy it, but only with one particular guy. He loves anal sex and was very experienced! The difference with him is that he made his priority to make sure I was relaxed, that I trusted him and was having fun. I tried it again with another person and had to shut that down immediately as that level of trust or care was absent. Although the physical dalliance between Mr. Anal Sex guy and I have stopped for a few years, we're still friends who check up on each other!" says Penelope from Los Angeles.
While it's theoretically possible to get pregnant from anal sex if the semen or ejaculate leaks out and into the vagina, it's super unlikely. "It's nice to not have to worry about the unwanted surprise aspect, and still get to have your fun. That's what I like about anal sex!" said Bonnie from New Jersey.

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Good news: Anal sex is becoming less and less taboo. And by that, I mean GREAT news, because women can actually enjoy butt play just as much as men do. Seriously. "I've come across plenty of women who love anal play," says Gigi Engle , sex coach and sexologist (she's legit a sexpert for the Womanizer sex toy brand). Anal sex provides a different kind of fullness and can be really, truly intimate (especially if it's a first for both of you). Another major perk? Some women even experience full-on anal orgasms . With the right positions and a few helpful pointers, you could be one of them.
But if it's your first time, there’s a few things you want to keep in mind. “Go slow and go small,” says Joanna Encarnacion , a sex and relationship coach. Play around with fingers first working your way up from small to big. Start with the rim of the butthole before going all the way in with a penis, strap-on, or dildo. Remember: Lube is your absolute best friend (do NOT pass go without it) and never switch from butt to vag (because bacteria, people!).
But most importantly, don't forget to check in with yourself and your body during penetration. "There’s no shame in taking it back out and coming out of the whole situation until you’re a little bit more comfortable,” Encarnacion says.
Okay, now that that's all been covered, here are the best 15 anal sex positions to try when you're ready.
This position is perfect for people who are relatively new to anal sex because it's easy to pull off (but still hot). "Use hand play first to ease into it and see how this position works for your before slipping in the penis," Encarnacion says. Once you decide it's a go, you can control how far down you sit onto your partner, which means you can go as deep or as shallow as you like. If you're looking to spice up the position, reach your hands around the back and grab your partner for more contact. You can also simultaneously play with your own clitoris or their balls for added stimulation. "Don't be afraid to get handsy with this one," Encarnacion says.
Do It: Have your partner sit on the edge of a bed or a chair. With your back to them, slide down on top of them.
The Lying Doggy is perfect for shallow penetration—which you should definitely try if you haven't already. Most of the nerves in the anus are in the first two inches of the opening, so this is a great way to get that stimulation even if you're an anal sex beginner. Pro tip: Play around with teasing in this position. "It's great for beginners because you don't have to commit to the whole thing (literally!)," Encarnacion says. But you still get allll the stimulation. If you want more though, add a vibrator to the mix and use it on your clitoris while lying down, she suggests.
Do It: Lie on your stomach, and have your partner lie directly on top of you, entering from behind. Have them balance on their elbows for optimal comfort.
Anal sex positions are often a face-away-from-each-other kind of deal, but this one allows you and your partner to get some eye-contact in during sex. That adds to the whole intimacy thing. You can also kick things up a notch and calm your nerves with a little nipple sensation from your partner. "This will add a different sensory experience and take away some of the pressure on your mind around the anal play that's occurring," Encarnacion says.
Do It: Have your partner enter you from the missionary position. Keep your knees pressed against his side to control how deep they go, putting your hands on their chest for extra resistance. You can also add a pillow underneath your hips, to get the pelvis in the perfect place for penetration.
Don't you love that this position is called the Caboose? While it's a must-try for regular penetration, it's a really sweet one for anal. "Have them grab their hands on your ass and slowly lower you down," Encarnacion recommends. This will start the intimacy off on a high note. And once you're in the position, you'll be attached from the torso to your legs and can kiss each other to up the romance even more.
Do It: While he sits on the bed or a chair, back yourself into his lap and spoon each other while seated.
If you’re interested in standing anal sex positions, this is a great choice. It's ideal for shallow penetration, giving your nerve-rich anal opening plenty of attention. Encarnacion recommends playing around with a sex wedge or pillow to switch up the depth or direction of penetration.
Do It : Have your partner kneel against the bed and you lie across the edge, leaning on one side with your back (and obviously butt) facing them. Lean back into his penis. Swivel your hips to control the speed and motion.
Oh, spooning—the lazy girl's move for vaginal, and now anal, sex. This position is great when you don't want to make eye contact (sometimes, especially when your partner is up your backdoor, you don't want to) or feel like busting out crazy moves. Plus, skin on skin is hot. And if you're worried about the position feeling too simple or mundane, add some build up. "Rub your partner's penis against your clit, pulling it downwards before it goes in," Encarnacion suggests. You'll get both clitoral stimulation and create more of a tease before diving into full anal.
Do It: Both of you lie on your sides, facing the same direction. You bring your knees up slightly while your partner slides up behind your pelvis and enters you from behind.
Anal sex in the cowgirl position is especially hot because it gives the person on top all of the control. It's also super easy for you and your partner to reach around and finger your vagina or rub your clitoris . And remember—there's more than just up and down movement. Rock back and forth too to provide yourself with another stimulation option, Encarnacion says.
Do It: Have you partner lie down faceup, then straddle them. Slowly slide yourself down at your own pace. Lean forward, placing both hands on your partner's chest or shoulders.
Regular Lotus is touted as one of the most intimate and romantic positions there is. Make it the anal version, and you take that intimacy up a notch (okay, several). Here, you're as close to your partner as possible, and you get some eye-contact time that can be oh-so-hot. "Making out during this one is a really great way to seal up that intimacy," Encarnacion says. One other note: He'll likely feel pretty deep, so go slow.
Do It: Have your partner sit on the bed or couch. Climb on top of their lap. Slide down so you’re face-to-face.
Reverse cowgirl may not be your favorite for regular P-in-the-V action (though your partner probably LOVES it), but in the anal sex world, the position is clutch. You get to control his depth and thrusting pattern with relative ease. Encarnacion recommends incorporating ball or clitoral play to the mix for an added layer of stimulation. And of course, your butt is right there, so having your partner pull your cheeks apart or push them together can feel also feel very satisfying.
Do It: Have your partner lie on their back. Straddle them backward and slide down at your leisure. Have your partner stimulate your clit, while you offer them an ultra-sexy view of your backside.
The Spork is really, really hot for any kind of sex—there's the intimate eye contact, the intertwined legs, and the slightly twisted angle of penetration. Try it as an anal sex position and it might become your favorite. And don't forget about kissing during this one. "Typically in anal sex positions, you don't always have access to the face. So take advantage of that," Encarnacion says.
Do It: While you lie on your back, raise your right leg so they can position themselves between your legs at a 90-degree angle and enter your anus.
Doggy style is the classic anal sex position for a reason: It's perfect for deep penetration, and you can arch your back for even deeper thrusts, which can help target that infamous A-spot . Try rocking your hips back and forth to add some variety to the position. "It will change some of the internal sensations," Encarnacion says. But the major perk? It can also more quickly stimulate an orgasm for some women.
Do It: Get on all fours, and have your partner enter you from behind. From here, your partn
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