An Old Man And His Wife

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and other folktales
about dissatisfaction and greed
translated and/or edited by

D. L. Ashliman
© 2000-2013
There was once upon a time a fisherman and his wife who lived together in a piss pot near the sea. Every day the fisherman went out fishing, and he fished a long time. Once he was sitting there fishing and looking into the clear water when his hook went to the bottom, deep down, and when he pulled it out, he had caught a large flounder. Then the flounder said to him, "I beg you to let me live. I am not an ordinary flounder, but an enchanted prince. Put me back into the water, and let me swim."
"Well," said the man, "there's no need to say more. I can certainly let a fish swim away who knows how to talk." Then he put it back into the water, and the flounder quickly disappeared to the bottom, leaving a long trail of blood behind him.
The man then went home to his wife in the piss pot and told her that he had caught a flounder that had told him he was an enchanted prince, and that he had let it swim away. "Didn't you ask for anything first?" said the woman. "No," said the man. What should I have asked for?"
"Oh," said the woman. "It is terrible living in this piss pot. It is filled with stench and filth. Go back and ask for a little hut for us."
The man did not want to, but he went back to the sea, and when he arrived it was all yellow and green, and he stood next to the water and said:
Mandje! Mandje! Timpe Te!
Flounder, flounder, in the sea!
My wife, my wife Ilsebill,
Wants not, wants not, what I will
The flounder swam up and said, "What does she want then?"
"Oh," said the man, "I did catch you, and my wife says that I really should have asked for something. She doesn't want to live in a piss pot any longer. She would like to have a hut."
"Go home," said the flounder. "She already has it."
The man went home, and his wife was standing in the door of a hut, and she said to him, "Come in. See, now isn't this much better." And there was a parlor and a bedroom and a kitchen; and outside there was a little garden with all kinds of vegetables, and a yard with hens and ducks.
"Oh," said the man. "Now we can live well."
"Yes," said the woman, "we'll give it a try."
Everything went well for a week or two, and then the woman said, "Husband. This hut is too small. The yard and the garden are too little. I want to live in a large stone castle. Go back to the flounder and tell him to get a castle for us."
"Oh, wife," said the man. The flounder has just given us the hut. I don't want to go back so soon. It may make the flounder angry."
"I know he can do it," said the woman, "and he won't mind. Just go!"
So, with a heavy heart, the man went back, and when he came to the sea, the water was quite purple and gray and dark blue, but it was still, and he stood there and said:
"What does she want then?" said the flounder.
"Oh," said the man sadly, "my wife wants to live in a stone castle."
"Go home. She's already standing before the door," said the flounder.
So the man went home, and his wife was standing in front of a large palace.
"See, husband," she said. "Isn't this beautiful?" And with that they went inside together. There were many servants inside, and the walls were all white, and there were golden chairs and tables in the parlor, and outside the castle there was a garden and a forest a half mile long, and there were elk and deer and rabbits, and there were cow and horse stalls in the yard.
"Oh," said the man, "now we can stay in this beautiful castle and be satisfied."
"We'll think about it," said the woman. "Let's sleep on it." And with that they went to bed.
The next morning the woman awoke. It was daylight. She poked her husband in the side with her elbow and said, "Husband, get up. We should be king over all this land."
"Oh, wife," said the man, "why do you want to be king? I don't want to be king."
"Oh, wife," said the man, "how can you be king? The flounder won't want to do that."
"Husband," said the woman, "Go there immediately. I want to be king."
So the man, saddened because his wife wanted to be king, went back. And when he arrived at the sea it was dark gray, and the water heaved up from below. He stood there and said:
"What does she want then," said the flounder.
"Oh," said the man, "my wife wants to be king."
"Go home. She's already king," said the flounder.
Then the man went home, and when he arrived at the palace, there were so many soldiers, and drums, and trumpets, and his wife was sitting on a high throne of gold and diamonds, and she was wearing a large golden crown and on either side of her there stood a line of maidens-in-waiting, each one a head shorter than the other.
"Oh," said the man, "are you king now?"
And after he had looked at her awhile, he said, "It is nice that you are king. Now we don't have to wish for anything else."
"No, husband," she said, "I have been king too long. I can't stand it any longer. I am king, but now I would like to become emperor."
"Oh," said the man, "why do you want to become emperor?"
"Husband," she said, "go to the flounder. I want to be emperor."
"Oh, wife," said the man, "he can't make you emperor. I can't tell him to do that."
"I am king," said the woman, "and you are my husband. Now go there immediately!"
So the man went, and on his way he thought, "This is not going to end well. To ask to be emperor is shameful. The flounder is going to get tired of this." With that he arrived at the sea. The water was entirely black and dense, and a strong wind blew over him that curdled the water. He stood there and said:
"What does she want then," said the flounder.
"Oh," he said, "my wife wants to become emperor."
"Go home," said the flounder. "She's already emperor."
Then the man went home, and when he arrived, his wife was sitting on a very high throne made of one piece of gold, and she was wearing a large golden crown that was two yards high, and guards were standing at her side, each one smaller than the other, beginning with the largest giant and ending with the littlest dwarf, who was no larger than my little finger. Many princes and counts were standing in front of her. The man went and stood among them and said, "Wife, are you emperor now?"
"Oh," said the man, taking a good look at her. "Wife, it's good that you are emperor."
"Husband," she said. "Why are you standing there? I'm emperor now, and I want to become pope as well."
"Oh, wife!" said the man. "Why do you want to become pope. There is only one pope in all Christendom."
"Husband," she said, "I want to become pope before the day is done."
"No, wife," he said, "the flounder cannot make you pope. It's not good."
"Husband, what nonsense! If he can make me emperor, then he can make me pope as well. Now go there immediately!"
Then the man went, and he felt sick all over, and his knees and legs were shaking, and the wind was blowing, and the water looked like it was boiling, and ships, tossing and turning on the waves, were firing their guns in distress. There was a little blue in the middle of the sky, but on all sides it had turned red, as in a terrible lightning storm. Full of despair he stood there and said:
"What does she want then?" said the flounder.
"Oh," said the man, "my wife wants to become pope."
"Go home," said the flounder. "She's already pope."
Then he went home, and when he arrived there, his wife was sitting on a throne that was two miles high, and she was wearing three large crowns. She was surrounded with church-like splendor, and at her sides there were two banks of candles. The largest was as thick and as tall as the largest tower, down to the smallest kitchen candle. "Wife," said the man, giving her a good look, "are you pope now?"
"Oh," said the man. "It is good that you are pope. Wife, we can be satisfied, now that you are pope. There's nothing else that you can become."
"I have to think about that," said the woman. Then they both went to bed, but she was not satisfied. Her desires would not let her sleep. She kept thinking what she wanted to become next. Then the sun came up. "Aha," she thought, as she watched the sunrise through her window. "Couldn't I cause the sun to rise?" Then she became very grim and said to her husband, "Husband, go back to the flounder. I want to become like God."
The man, who was still mostly asleep, was so startled that he fell out of bed. "Oh, wife," he said, "go on as you are and remain pope."
"No," said the woman, tearing open her bodice. "I will not be quiet. I can't stand it when I see the sun and the moon coming up, and I can't cause them to rise. I want to become like God!"
"Oh, wife," said the man. "The flounder can't do that. He can make you emperor and pope, but he can't do that."
"Husband," she said, looking very gruesome, "I want to become like God. Go to the flounder right now!"
The man trembled with fear at every joint. Outside there was a terrible storm. Trees and mountains were shaking. The heaven was completely black, and there was thunder and lightning. In the sea he could see black waves as high as mountains, and they were capped with white crowns of foam. He said:
"What does she want then," said the flounder.
"Oh," he said, "she wants to become like God."
"Go home. She is sitting in her piss pot again."
And they are sitting there even today.
A long time ago, many hundreds of years ago, there lived a fisherman with his wife. His name was Dudeldee. They were so poor that they did not have a real house, but lived in a hut made of boards without any windows. They looked out through the knot holes. In spite all this, Dudeldee was satisfied, but not his wife. She wished for this or that and constantly tormented her husband because he could not give it to her.
Dudeldee usually said nothing, thinking only to himself, "If only I were rich," or "If only I could have everything I wished for."
One evening he was standing with his wife before their front door looking around their neighborhood. There were a number of handsome farmhouses nearby. Then his wife said to him, "If we only had a hut as good as the worst of our neighbors' houses. We could have such a one, but you are too lazy. You can't work the way other people work."
Dudeldee asked, "What? Don't I work as hard as other people? Don't I stand there fishing the entire day?"
"No!" answered his wife. "You could get up earlier and catch as many fish before daybreak as you now get during the whole day. But you are too lazy. You don't want to do anything." And thus she scolded him on and on.
So the next morning he got up early and went out to the lake to fish. By the time he saw people going to their fields to work he still had caught nothing. Noon came, and the mowers sat in the shade and ate their noon meals, and still he had caught nothing. Sadly he sat down and pulled his moldy bread from his pocket and ate it. Then he went back to fishing. The sun moved downward, and the mowers went home, the shepherds drove their herds into their enclosures, the cow herds returned home, and the fields grew quiet. But Dudeldee still stood there, and still he had not even one little fish.
It was almost dark when he thought about going home. He would throw out his net just one more time and try to catch something. He threw it out, and as if were trying to lure the fish into it, he called out:
asked a little fish that had swum up, sticking his head a little above the water.
Poor Hanns Dudeldee was startled to see the little fish, but he collected himself and thought, "If all I have to do is to want something, you will not have to ask me again."
He looked around to see what he might wish for. On the other side of the lake there stood a handsome palace from which he could hear the beautiful music of horns resounding. At the same time he thought of his wife's wish to have a better house, so he said, "I would like a country house like that one over there. I would like such a palace instead of my little board hut."
"Just go home," said the little fish. "Your board hut is now such a palace."
More running than walking, Hanns Dudeldee returned home. Already at some distance, he saw that at the place where his house formerly stood there was now a splendid palace with brightly illuminated rooms. Entering, he saw that everything was so splendid that he did not know how to behave. The entryway was paved with marble. The living-room floor was of inlaid wood, and polished with wax. The walls were covered with wallpaper. Magnificent chandeliers hung in the high halls. In short, everything was so beautiful that Hans Dudeldee did not dare to walk around inside. He could not believe that this was his property. He thought he had entered the wrong house and would have left, if his wife had not met him on the steps. He had scarcely seen her when he asked her, "Now are you satisfied with the house?" and he told her what had happened.
"What?" she answered. "Do you think that what we have here is a miracle? I saw much better houses in the city when I was in service there. It is passable, but how could you be so stupid? You forgot the best things. Just look at our clothes against this nice house! See how they stand out! At the same time you should have wished for beautiful clothes for me and for you. But you are too stupid and lazy. You don't even make use of the little bit of intelligence that you have." And thus she continued to scold and bicker until she fell asleep.
The next morning at daybreak Hanns Dudeldee went back to the same place, once again threw out his net, and once again called out:
Thus replied the little fish once again, and Dudeldee did not have to think long before saying that he wanted beautiful clothing for his wife and for himself, clothing that was appropriate for their new house.
"You have it," said the little fish, and Dudeldee stood there wearing a cloth jacket with gold braid, silk stockings and shoes, and an embroidered vest, everything in keeping with the fashion of the time.
Returning home, he would have scarcely recognized his wife in her silk clothing, but she looked out the window and asked, "Hanns, is that you?"
"Yes," he answered. "Are you satisfied now?"
Thus they lived peacefully for a time. But one day, when her husband wanted to go out fishing again, she said, "Why do you need to go fishing? Give that up and instead wish for yourself a chest filled with gold."
"Hmm, that is true!" thought Dudeldee, and he went out to the lake, once again threw out his net and called out:
"Oh, a chest filled with gold," he said.
"Just go home," said the little fish
And when he arrived home, standing in his bedroom was a chest filled with gold pieces.
Thus they lived high and well. She bought herself a coach and horses, and a riding horse for her husband. They often drove into the cities, and they engaged a cook and servants.
The neighbors always called her the arrogant fishwife. This annoyed her greatly, so she told her husband to make her the ruler over all the neighbors. Once again he went out with his net, threw it into the water, and called out:
"I would like to be a nobleman or a count and to rule over all my neighbors."
When he arrived home the neighbors were paying homage to his wife. She already had had a few of the neighbor women locked up who previously had called her the arrogant fishwife.
Now they often drove to the capital city where the king resided, wanting to join company with other counts. But they did not know how to conduct themselves with the manners of nobility, and everyone ridiculed them. Some countesses would refer to her only as Fish Countess and him as Fish Count Dudeldee.
So she again spoke to her husband, "Go out and have yourself made king. I do not want to be called Fish Countess any longer. I want to be queen."
However, Hanns Dudeldee advised her against this, saying, "Just remember how it was when we were poor, and we wished for a little hut as good as the worst of our neighbors' houses. Now we have a surplus of everything. Let us call it enough."
But his wife did not want to call it enough, and she said, "What? I am to put up with being called Fish Countess? I am to bear the city women's pride? No! They must know who I am. I shall show them! And yet you want to be so simple as to accept all this?" And thus she scolded forth, until he promised to make her queen.
Consequently he went out to the sea, repeated once again his little verse, and the little fish again appeared and again asked, "What do you want, Count Dudeldee?"
He presented the request, that he would like to be king. The little fish said, "You are!"
Returning home, he found that his palace had changed magnificently. It was now much larger. Marshals and ministers with a golden star and golden keys received him with deep bows. His head suddenly became very heavy. He wanted to take off his hat, but behold! Instead of a hat he had a heavy golden crown on his head. And when he saw his wife, he hardly recognized her, so much did her gown glisten with gold and jewels.
When he asked her if she was now satisfied, she said, "Yes, until I once again come to know something better. I would be a fool if I could be better off, and did not do so."
Thus they lived contentedly for a time, and Dudeldee's wife did not wish for anything further, for she had everything that she possibly could want. She had even taken revenge on the countesses who had called her Countess Fish. But finally she came to lack something. She read in the newspaper about the luxury and the expenditures at other kings' courts, and heard that there were other kings and emperors who ruled over many more people and over much more powerful kingdoms than did Dudeldee. Consequently she again approached him, and tormented him until he promised her to become the most powerful king on earth.
Once again he threw out his net, and called out:
asked the little fish, and Dudeldee said, "Just make me the most powerful king or emperor on earth." And immediately that is what he was.
When he arrived home ambassadors and deputies from all the kingdoms and all the parts of the earth were there. Poor poets with poems to Atlas awaited him. Schoolmasters who needed better salaries were there with their petitions. Chamberlains, with their hats under their arms, walked back and forth. Peasants engaged in lawsuits wanted an audience. Guards walked up and down. A coach with ten horses, twenty cavaliers, and six couriers was standing there, ready to depart. In an adjacent courtyard there were peacocks and guinea fowls. In short, everything was there that would please such a great emperor. There were even two court jesters who were always near him.
 The new Emperor Dudeldee was of course angry that these two foolish people were always following him about wherever he might go, and he complained to his wife about them, for after all, he would rather be in the company of reasonable people than of fools. But she told him that
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