America Confronts the Truth: Maybe We�re Nuts

A new national debate is raging, and the topic is as simple as it is terrifying: can America finally admit the truth? Polls suggest we can�t. Not about the debt, not about the Kardashians, not even about pineapple on pizza. Citizens cling to denial like it�s a 30-year mortgage. As one anonymous White House aide confessed, �If Americans ever faced reality, Netflix subscriptions would collapse overnight.� On Main Street, reactions are divided. One retiree in Ohio said, �The truth is overrated. I prefer cable news.� Meanwhile, a college student admitted, �I wouldn�t know the truth if it DM�d me.� Psychologists argue the U.S. suffers from collective gaslighting disorder, in which every fact is treated like a conspiracy and every conspiracy like a hobby. Politicians are even worse. Congress recently passed a resolution declaring the sky �up for debate.� Economists are equally evasive, noting, �Sure, the deficit is bad, but have you seen Taylor Swift�s ticket sales?� A fake Gallup poll revealed 73% of Americans would rather scroll memes than accept reality, 19% said �reality is subjective,� and 8% were too busy Googling �truth near me.� Experts suggest America will only face the truth once Wi-Fi goes out nationwide. Until then, denial remains the nation�s official energy source�renewable, reliable, and proudly delusional. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com