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Drunk women always seem to be a lot more work than drunk dudes. That’s why I love watching them in movies, where they can’t bother me with their exaggerated fountains of puke and teardrops. Keep them at a safe distance and I can watch their stupid shit all night long. This partly explains my recent ‘Jersey Shore’ fascination. Is it ironic that I got shit-faced while writing this and dropped my iPod in the toilet? While pissing? Maybe, but at least I didn’t cry about it. Much.
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Home » Movie News » Top 10 Favorite Movie Drunk Chicks
Before this character was absolutely butchered in KINGDOM OF THE HELPER MONKEYS she owned a sweet-ass bar where she drank big burly foreign men under the table and took their money as she rolled their giant pussies out the door. When Indiana Jones showed up for a piece she punched him the face for being an asshole and fucked a donkey right in front of him (deleted scene). She did all this and laughed as she pounded another shot.
Probably the most realistic drunk chick on the list since I’ve seen this scene played out dozens of times of the years. And it was usually my girlfriend (of the moment) reacting to the fact that I wanted to go down on the ugliest redheaded bitch in the room.
I’m raising my daughter as an Amish woman. There’s way less a chance she drinks herself slutty and fucks an entire football team that way. Call me foolish if you will but I’ve done the research. And I like butter.
This is why I thank Jebus my dating-scene days are well behind me. I mean, look at that hat, it’s awful. Seriously though, every single woman in her mid-thirties or over is exactly like this. It’s weird.
You think it bothers Anna Faris that her characters are always dumb as shit? Midgets get typecast less. Brandi is the perfect girl to bring home to your mother, if your mother is a raging alcoholic. They’ll either love each other or fight to the death. All you gotta do is bring the Tequila Rose.
Monica’s whole storyline in this film is fantastic. The fact that she gets plastered and misses most of it is even better. I once threw a New Year’s Eve party and got drunk because nobody showed up. When I woke up I realized it was December 27th.
You wanna be a hero and pound absinthe from the bottle? Then don’t bitch when you make out with your brother on the dance floor. In fact, thank Christ you’re out in public and nowhere near a bed, you crazy slut. I’m pretty sure someone slipped this to me one night at Harpos in Michigan. The thing I woke up next to in the morning was all the proof I needed. My friends suck.
There are definitely some other factors at work for Penny here but no matter how many pills she pops during the night, you’ll always find her sucking on the knob-end of a glass bottle by sunrise. I’m beginning to think drunk chicks hate bras.
Now this is more the the drunk girls I grew up with – a bra full of tissues and the tolerance of an eight-year-old. Just when you’re about to get some action she blacks out like she was hit by a train. Then the little Angel and Devil show up to teach you the dos and donts of rape. All in all, it’s a riot.
Not your traditional drunk chick but pretty hilarious none-the-less. We can all only wish we were this sophisticated, witty, and conscious when we drown our sorrows. I once saw an older woman get drunk and punch a dog in the face. Terry Ann would not approve.
Remember when I said as long as they’re in the movies they wouldn’t bother me? Well, this chick bothered me. A lot. It’s like having way too much of a good thing. There’s an entire sub-plot going on with this woman that feels like it scratching my eyeballs out every time she appears on screen. Thus, our very first dishonorable mention. Yay.
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6:13PM Wednesday, September 7th, 2022
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DUSTON came home and found his girlfriend in bed with another man. He handled the situation in a rather unique way.
You come home to find your significant other in bed with another man.
Some people would scream and yell. Some people would overturn furniture.
But not this guy from Emory, Texas. He got his phone out and calmly started snapping pictures.
Lucky for us, he decided to post all the sordid pics on Facebook (though he has since removed them).
Duston Holloway, 23, says that initially he wanted to “kick the guy’s a**” but instead took the photos and posted them on Facebook with the caption “when you come home to another man in your bed with the one you loved! Good men deserve good women.”
He then posted a series of photos of his (soon-to-be) ex with her shirtless tattooed companion.
One Facebook friend commented, asking if he eventually woke the couple up to confront them.
He said he didn’t, “but I calmly just took selfies and walked like a boss lol”.
“I did tap her to wake her up but she was drunk as a skunk passed out ... I was gonna ask if I was gonna have to sleep in the spare bedroom and what kinda breakfast the dude liked lmao”.
His post has since been reported on around the globe.
Holloway has since expressed gratitude for the support he’s received from strangers on Facebook.
“I’ve had thousands of messages thousands upon thousands of people from all over the world congratulating me on being a better man and walking away,” he wrote.
“I have pride and respect I’m amazed at the way this had turned into yesterday (sic) I thought my world fell apart I was heartbroken to ever witness anything like that, but with the amount of support from FB and family And friends I want to personally thank each and every one of you. The world ain’t as bad as we think. I don’t care to be known all over I could careless I know good people deserve the best I’m officially amazed with this.
“But there’s no need in bashing someone when they are down it was wrong it did suck but being the better person is always the best way. THE BEST FEELING IS WHEN SOMEONE APPRECIATES EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU THAT SOMEONE TOOK FOR GRANTED!”
When you’re in love, you do some crazy things. But this man’s reaction to his girlfriend’s romantic act had people sure their relationship wouldn’t last.
A woman who became engaged at 16 years old, has revealed the stunning reason why she chose to make the life-changing decision so young.
It’s a new dating phenomenon that once you see it you can’t unsee it. So what can men do to stop themselves falling in this trap? Jana Hocking has answers.
6:13PM Wednesday, September 7th, 2022
A NOTE ABOUT RELEVANT ADVERTISING: We collect information about the content (including ads) you use across this site and use it to make both advertising and content more relevant to you on our network and other sites. Find out more about our policy and your choices, including how to opt-out. Sometimes our articles will try to help you find the right product at the right price. We may receive revenue from affiliate and advertising partnerships for publishing this content or when you make a purchase.
Nationwide News Pty Ltd © 2022. All times AEST (GMT +10). Powered by WordPress.com VIP
More stories to check out before you go
DUSTON came home and found his girlfriend in bed with another man. He handled the situation in a rather unique way.
You come home to find your significant other in bed with another man.
Some people would scream and yell. Some people would overturn furniture.
But not this guy from Emory, Texas. He got his phone out and calmly started snapping pictures.
Lucky for us, he decided to post all the sordid pics on Facebook (though he has since removed them).
Duston Holloway, 23, says that initially he wanted to “kick the guy’s a**” but instead took the photos and posted them on Facebook with the caption “when you come home to another man in your bed with the one you loved! Good men deserve good women.”
He then posted a series of photos of his (soon-to-be) ex with her shirtless tattooed companion.
One Facebook friend commented, asking if he eventually woke the couple up to confront them.
He said he didn’t, “but I calmly just took selfies and walked like a boss lol”.
“I did tap her to wake her up but she was drunk as a skunk passed out ... I was gonna ask if I was gonna have to sleep in the spare bedroom and what kinda breakfast the dude liked lmao”.
His post has since been reported on around the globe.
Holloway has since expressed gratitude for the support he’s received from strangers on Facebook.
“I’ve had thousands of messages thousands upon thousands of people from all over the world congratulating me on being a better man and walking away,” he wrote.
“I have pride and respect I’m amazed at the way this had turned into yesterday (sic) I thought my world fell apart I was heartbroken to ever witness anything like that, but with the amount of support from FB and family And friends I want to personally thank each and every one of you. The world ain’t as bad as we think. I don’t care to be known all over I could careless I know good people deserve the best I’m officially amazed with this.
“But there’s no need in bashing someone when they are down it was wrong it did suck but being the better person is always the best way. THE BEST FEELING IS WHEN SOMEONE APPRECIATES EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU THAT SOMEONE TOOK FOR GRANTED!”
When you’re in love, you do some crazy things. But this man’s reaction to his girlfriend’s romantic act had people sure their relationship wouldn’t last.
A woman who became engaged at 16 years old, has revealed the stunning reason why she chose to make the life-changing decision so young.
It’s a new dating phenomenon that once you see it you can’t unsee it. So what can men do to stop themselves falling in this trap? Jana Hocking has answers.
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