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My Wife Doesn’t Want to Orgasm. Is That Normal?

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​Ever wondered if she’s actually enjoying herself?
If you enjoy going down on the woman in your life , there's a good chance she wants to return the favor. But have you ever wondered if she's actually enjoying herself when she gives you a blowjob? After all, the oral sex move has "job" in its title—it's only natural to second guess her excitement as she makes her way below your belt.
Of course, every person enjoys different things in the bedroom, and it's impossible to make a blanket statement about whether or not women like giving blowjobs. But we can tell you this much: some women definitely enjoy performing oral sex on their partners. Just peruse the hundreds of responses to this Reddit thread , which asked: “Women who like giving blowjobs, why?”
The women who responded had a variety of reasons for their love of giving head. On a psychological level, some said they enjoyed the power of having their partner at their mercy, and being able to control their pleasure with the slightest tongue flick. On a physical level, others said they liked the taste and the feeling of a smooth penis in their mouth. And then there's the emotional side to blowjobs: a number of respondents said they use oral sex to show their partner how much they love and appreciate them.
Just remember, not every woman likes to give oral sex. If that's your partner, be respectful, and don't worry—you can always get yourself a blowjob machine .
Here's what 17 women had to say about why they like giving blowjobs.
"Because I like receiving, and it would be shitty of me to expect enthusiasm down there if I wasn't willing to go to town on a guy's junk myself." [ via ]
"Turns me on, makes me feel sexy. I love feeling a guy grow hard for me. I suppose its also a control thing." [ via ]
“I feel in control... but most importantly, I just love pleasing him. My boyfriend is currently working 65-70 hour weeks, manual labor. He’s exhausted when he comes home. He eats dinner, plays on the computer 30-45 minutes, then drags himself to bed. He’s doing all this so I don’t have to worry about working while I’m in school.
"So, a few times a week, he gets a BJ. He’s too tired for sex, but that release helps him sleep, and keep his stress levels in check. I occasionally get sex in the process but not like we used to. That’s ok. This season of our lives will be over soon, and things will get back to normal.” [ via ]
"Everything! I love pleasing a man. I love hearing him moan. I love being in control of his pleasure. I love insisting that he relax and let me do this! I love the feeling of him inside of me. I love feeling him grow as he becomes more excited! I love the intimate connection that we form. And I love the taste of cum." [ via ]
"It's intimate and deeply satisfying. I like the feeling of having a hard or soft penis in my mouth. It's fulfilling for me." [ via ]
"I love sucking it from softness to hardness. It's so exciting feeling it growing in my mouth." [ via ]
"I love hearing a man moan and cum because of what I'm doing to him...but the moans are the best part. It sucks when a man isn't vocal." [ via ]
"I always enjoyed the feeling of giving pleasure to my partner with oral, but only in the past few years did that grow into more of a serious kink. I only really watch blowjob porn. If I am thinking about sex, it is about blowjobs. If I am having sex, (not always but most of the time,) I am thinking about giving him head. It is pretty much my number one desire in the bedroom now. I love deep-throating the most and all the other frills that go with it. But light teasing sessions are also really great, the slow build up for both of us is very exciting. I have absolutely no idea why I like it so much, I just do, but I have never had any complaints so never really worried." [ via ]
"Guys tend to be quiet and reserved with most sex acts, except blow jobs. We get responsive as hell reactions from you in this activity more than any other with minimal effort or personal distraction. Makes a girl feel sexy, and as such more likely to want more. Theres also a sense of power." [ via ]
"We have you at our mercy." [ via ]
"Cum tastes amazing. There's something to be said about making a man quake when all you do is roll your tongue around and purr to make your mouth vibrate. I also love the fact that it drives him wild when I do it." [ via ]
"I've always hated blowjobs and refused to do it. The most recent guy I'm with has an amazing dick. Its so beautiful and looking at it makes my mouth water. I love how it feels in my mouth, how he swears when my mouth goes on him. He smiles so happily and it makes me happy for making him happy." [ via ]
Does penis size actually matter? Let's discuss:
"I'm a pleaser in the bedroom so it really turns me on when I know that I'm turning the guy on. I love preforming oral more than I like receiving it because of the reactions. I wanna see your head fall back, I wanna see your eyes close and open repeatedly, I wanna hear you moan and groan, I want you to tell me what to do and how to please you. Plus foreplay is my favorite part of sex. The simulation and knowing that someone enjoys what I'm doing to them. If my jaw didn't get so cramped easily, I'd do it for as long as the guy wants." [ via ]
"I used to find it very boring. I knew it should be fun, because you get to feel in control. But I didn't get that vibe.
"Then I realized: what's the point of a blow job if he's not tied up?
"With a new kinkier lover I can't get enough of it. Get those limbs under control with some rope and there isn't anything stopping me from playing for a couple of hours before finally allowing relief :)" [ via ]
"Personally, I enjoy going down in my husband because I not only have control, I am also showing him in action just how much I love and appreciate him and everything he does for our family. I feel that head is a very intimate act, and it definitely helps get the point across.
"I also enjoy giving him a blow job because it's a great stress reliever as well. I like knowing that he can come home to me and I can make his stress fall away with just one action. But most of all, when I take care of him, he always returns the favor. ;)" [ via ]
"The feeling of knowing my attention is solely concentrated on the most tender parts of him and he trusts me. The way he looks at me, the noises and movements he makes, knowing when he is going to orgasm and feeling this satisfaction that it's something we enjoy together. The fact he tastes amazing and it can be hot and slutty or sensual and slow. It's just the fucking best to be honest. And he knows I love it. Like I don't think I would ever say no to it because I just want him to feel that good because of me." [ via ]
"I like it because it's both dominating and submissive at the same time. I love the sounds he makes, and the way he grabs my hair. I love the way he feels in my mouth. He is so generous in making me feel good, that I like it doing it for him. And yes, I swallow." [ via ]

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I really like giving him head because it's really his favorite and I can get creative and make him practically scream. But this taste thing means he only gets it maybe once a month because it's truly a labor of love. We have tried putting flavoring on (chocolate, etc), and that helps somewhat, but it's not always practical to have that stuff on hand. Is there something he can eat/take that will improve the flavor? Or any tips/tricks for not gagging? It really is the flavor and not how deep in my mouth—I used to go deeper than I do now, exactly for this reason.
Men tend to produce less ejaculate as they age, ANB, and ejaculate isn't produced in the balls. Sperm cells, which are produced in the balls, only account for a tiny percentage of a man's total ejaculate—and sperm isn't a sweetener, ANB, so removing sperm from the mix (by getting a vasectomy) won't impact taste much.
So what's in his jizz then? Take it away, Encyclopedia Britannica ...
In the sexually mature human male, sperm cells are produced by the testes (singular, testis); they constitute only about 2 to 5 percent of the total semen volume. As sperm travel through the male reproductive tract, they are bathed in fluids produced and secreted by the various tubules and glands of the reproductive system. After emerging from the testes, sperm are stored in the epididymis, in which secretions of potassium, sodium, and glycerylphosphorylcholine (an energy source for sperm) are contributed to the sperm cells. Sperm mature in the epididymis. They then pass through a long tube, called the ductus deferens, or vas deferens, to another storage area, the ampulla. The ampulla secretes a yellowish fluid, ergothioneine, a substance that reduces (removes oxygen from) chemical compounds, and the ampulla also secretes fructose, a sugar that nourishes the sperm. During the process of ejaculation, liquids from the prostate gland and seminal vesicles are added, which help dilute the concentration of sperm and provide a suitable environment for them. Fluids contributed by the seminal vesicles are approximately 60 percent of the total semen volume; these fluids contain fructose, amino acids, citric acid, phosphorus, potassium, and hormones known as prostaglandins. The prostate gland contributes about 30 percent of the seminal fluid; the constituents of its secretions are mainly citric acid, acid phosphatase, calcium, sodium, zinc, potassium, protein-splitting enzymes, and fibrolysin (an enzyme that reduces blood and tissue fibres). A small amount of fluid is secreted by the bulbourethral and urethral glands; this is a thick, clear, lubricating protein commonly known as mucus.
Anyway, ANB, the older a man gets, the less of all of that—the less fructose (a sweetener!), amino acids, citric acid, phosphorus, potassium, sodium, glycerylphosphorylcholine, and that "thick, clear, lubricating protein commonly known as mucus," etc.—he produces. Consequently, your husband's ejaculate is more concentrated these days than it was when you first started blowing him 25 years ago, ANB, something that could impact taste and " mouthfeel ," as they say in junk food R&D.
So what can you do? Well, you don't have to keep swallowing. As I've said long said ....
Swallowing is extra credit. It's not a course requirement. I say this as someone who gives and receives blowjobs: If someone sucks your dick until you come, you got your damn blowjob. What a blower does with the blowee's come after the blowjob is over—spit, swallow, spread it on toast—is the blower's call to make.
If given a choice between fewer blowjobs with swallowing or more blowjobs without swallowing, ANB, I imagine your husband would opt for the latter. (Protip: blow him until he's just about to come—when he's just past the point of orgasmic inevitability—then pull out as he starts to come and keep a spitty/wet hand working his shaft and head until he's drained.)
And while it's a myth that eating pineapple or chugging two cans of sweetened condensed milk can improve the flavor of a man's ejaculate, it's a fact that our bodily fluids are impacted by our diets. If your husband has a shitty diet—if he doesn't do fresh fruit or drink much water, if all he eats is junk food and all he drinks is booze and/or coffee—the effect on his ejaculate would become more pronounced over time. Getting him to eat better and drink water—not sweetened condensed milk—won't turn his come into vanilla pudding, ANB, but it could make it easier to swallow.
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