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Deciding if you’re ready to have sex is a big decision that’s very personal. It's important to think it through and wait until you're sure you're ready.
Deciding when to have sex is a big deal. It’s an important decision that only you can make. But it can be really helpful to talk it out with someone you trust — like a parent, a friend, or someone else who cares about you.
Sex can be really great, but it also has risks — STDs and unintended pregnancy are no joke. But sex can also have emotional risks. Sex before you're ready, sex with someone you don't trust or respect (or who doesn't trust or respect you), or sex that doesn't feel good can lead to some really stressful feelings. And sex shouldn't be stressful.
A healthy sex life fits in with everything you're about, including:
The emotional and physical risks you're willing to take
If having sex is something you really want to do, or something you’re being pressured to do
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Your feelings about who you are and what you're comfortable doing
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Even if it seems like everyone your age is having sex, they’re probably not. Only about half of high school students have ever had vaginal sex, and the average age when people start having sex is 18. But even once they have had sex, most teens don't have it very often. And lots of teens who've had sex say they wish they’d waited.
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Having sex will make me popular.
I’ll feel older if I have sex.
Some people are never interested in having sex. This is called asexuality.
How important sex is in your life can change over time — so don't worry if it’s not something you’re interested in right now. That’s totally normal and ok. Just because you don’t want to have sex now doesn’t mean you’ll never want to.
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We all harbor secrets. Some are big and bad; some are small and trivial. Researchers have parsed which truths to tell and which not to.
By Colin Allen published May 1, 2003 - last reviewed on June 9, 2016
Many teens, especially boys, feel pressure to have sex before they
are ready. According to research released this week, some 63 percent of
teens believe that waiting to have sex is a good idea, but few people
actually do.
One in three boys ages 15-17 say they feel pressure to have sex,
often from male friends. Teen girls feel less pressure--only 23 percent
said they felt such coercion. Researchers questioned 1,854 subjects
between the ages of 13 and 24 in a national survey.
The study, released by the Kaiser Family Foundation, also found
that teens feel strong pressure to drink and try drugs. The study
findings show a need for sex education at a young age, say the study
authors.
A separate study released this week, sponsored by the National
Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy , finds that one in five teens reported
having sex before they were 15. One in seven sexually active 14-year-olds
also said they have been pregnant.
Still, other research is not as pessimistic about teen sexuality .
Studies have found that teens were less sexually active during the 1990s
compared with decades before. The overall rate of sexual activity
declined by 5.7 percent, and the number of pregnancies, abortions and
sexually transmitted diseases also fell in the last decade.
Psychology Today © 2022 Sussex Publishers, LLC
We all harbor secrets. Some are big and bad; some are small and trivial. Researchers have parsed which truths to tell and which not to.
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