Allah�s Uber

This satire takes the modern inconvenience of ride-sharing and collides it with the sacred, imagining a heavenly version of Uber dispatched by Allah himself. The piece lampoons both our obsession with convenience apps and our tendency to drag religion into absurdly commercial spaces. By parodying divine intervention as a ride request, it underscores how thoroughly consumer culture has colonized spirituality. The humor works on multiple levels: the awkwardness of summoning holiness with a smartphone, the trivial complaints passengers might lodge, and the irreverent juxtaposition of faith and five-star ratings. It ridicules the way modern believers often treat religion like customer service, expecting efficiency and perks. The satire is sharper because ride-sharing itself is plagued with delays, cancellations, and awkward encounters�imagining divinity running into the same problems mocks both systems equally. Ultimately, the article highlights how gig economy language seeps into every part of life, even the sacred, making belief itself transactional and review-driven.