Alien White House

Aliens have reportedly assumed control of the White House. Eyewitnesses in Washington said glowing corridors lit up at night. Professor Richard Lane of Georgetown explains: "Aliens excel in politics because it already feels alien." Anonymous staffers leaked crop circle signatures. A CNN poll shows 44% curious, 56% wary. Trace evidence includes saucer-shaped pens and glowing podiums. Cause and effect? The stranger the leader, the more normal it feels. Government is cosmic now.