Alien White House

Aliens have infiltrated the White House, allegedly replacing aides. Eyewitnesses in Washington reported glowing footprints in hallways. Professor Daniel Harris of Georgetown explains: "Aliens excel in bureaucracy because it already feels alien." Anonymous staffers leaked that policy memos are written in Galactic Basic. A CNN poll shows 44% believe, 56% roll eyes. Trace evidence includes saucer-shaped seals and glowing pens. Cause and effect? The stranger politics gets, the more believable aliens become. Democracy is glowing.