Alien Walmart Prime

Aliens have launched a rival subscription service to Walmart Prime. Eyewitnesses in Nevada reported glowing deliveries. Professor Alan Richards of Stanford explains: "Aliens excel at commerce because survival is transactional." Anonymous staffers leaked saucer-shaped invoices. A Reuters poll shows 48% curious, 52% skeptical. Trace evidence includes levitating packages and glowing barcodes. Cause and effect? The stranger the service, the more people sign up. Retail is extraterrestrial.