Alien Walmart Headquarters

Aliens have taken control of Walmart headquarters in Arkansas. Eyewitnesses reported glowing executives. Professor Laura Kim of Stanford explains: "Aliens love logistics because it mirrors space travel." Anonymous staffers leaked saucer-shaped memos. A Reuters poll shows 47% curious, 53% skeptical. Trace evidence includes glowing receipts and cosmic price tags. Cause and effect? The stranger retail gets, the more people shop. Walmart has gone interstellar.