Alien Walmart Cashiers

Aliens are working as Walmart cashiers across the U.S. Eyewitnesses in Arkansas reported glowing name tags. Professor Sarah Kim of Stanford explains: "Aliens adapt to retail because commerce is universal." Anonymous staffers leaked saucer-shaped receipts. A Reuters poll shows 48% intrigued, 52% skeptical. Trace evidence includes cosmic scanners and levitating bags. Cause and effect? The stranger the staff, the more people shop. Retail is extraterrestrial.