Alien Vagina

Alien Vagina

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By Bryan Buttler ·

8/17/2015, 12:10 p.m.

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If the headline sounds out of this world, well, it sort of is: There’s a sexual fetish that involves giving “birth” to alien eggs, either vaginally or via one’s anal cavity. It’s thanks to a new sex toy called the Ovipositor , which essentially is a long penis-shaped tool that injects gelatin alien eggs into one’s body cavities, and according to a recent piece on Vice , “Fans of the Ovipositor say that the sensation of mushy extraterrestrial ovum slopping back out of them is a real treat.”
Vice profiled the product and it’s inventor , a man who goes by the name “LoneWolf,” who was once “a builder, fast-food dude, fashion model, church organist, butcher, and veterinary student at the University of New Hampshire before deciding: I want to make enormous egg-laying alien dicks.” LoneWolf claims that “tons of people” want the Ovipositors, and that he knew the product would sell because “there are three things that will always sell: Food, death, and sex.”
There’s of course the health question: Is injecting these gelatin eggs in your cavities safe? According to LoneWolf:
“Everything in moderation. We are not doctors, and we’re not about to comment on what is safe or unsafe to do to one’s body as it varies from person to person. I can say that I have used them many times without hurting myself, but frankly it is up to the person using it to know their own limits. For instance, if you are allergic to gelatin. If made properly, the eggs are firm, but rubbery, similar to the consistency of gummy bears. They dissolve with body heat rather quickly.”
However, one reader left a comment about the anal use of the eggs, saying, “If you use these in the backdoor, they go in as eggs and come out as gooey melted gelatin diarrhea. So I guess you have to like the idea of being impregnated with alien eggs as well as liking sitting on the toilet for hours as gooey melted diarrhea runs from your bum. Hey, whatever rolls your stockings up and down.” Also, on the Ovipositor website, it clearly states, “This item is sold as a novelty only. We’re not responsible for how you choose to use it.”
So why would someone want to try this? LoneWolf sums it up when he says, “There are different perspectives of everything, and Ovipositors are no exception. Many like to envision an alien creature that wants its eggs inside you. It can be a little intimidating or off-putting to those who do not fantasize about being the willing or unwilling host of alien beings inside them. It blurs the line of our own humanity to find sexual pleasure with something that is so far from human, and for some, just talking about it gets them wet.”
The cost? A basic Ovipositor, called the “Krubera,” starts at $109.99 , and it does not come with eggs: You have to make them on your own, and, eh, to be frank, it looks like quite a process:
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In this scene from the movie Decoys 2 , an evil alien transforms into a sassy dominatrix so she can mate with a young guy. It's just one of the most embarrassing alien mating scenes ever.
Yes, the evil aliens in Decoys (and Decoys 2) mate by sticking their tentacles down a human male's throat and then impregnating him with their eggs. And for some reason they have to use their shapeshifting and telepathy to turn themselves into the guy's ultimate fantasy first - so he'll be really, really excited. And the mating must take place at sub-zero temperatures. Got it? Good.
The most awkward scenes of alien mating run the gamut from cheesy space-opera mating to full-on I-can't-believe-they-went-there porn. And yes, some of the clips below are not work-safe, so exercise discretion.
Trek , in all its various incarnations, has always been full of unfortunate alien mating moments. But for my money, this is the worst - it's actually the scene that inspired me to track down all the rest of these clips. Riker, blessed with the power of Q, decides to give Worf a Klingon girlfriend... who crawls around the Enterprise bridge in a Klingon aerobics instructor outfit. "Is this your idea of sex?" Geordi asks, awestruck. "This... is... sex!" Worf howls. Ummm. yeah.
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Oh dear. An alien has been capturing women and attemting to mate with them. Here they are, in the alien's mental thrall, coating their naked bodies with its extraterrestrial sperm. And yes, it's NSFW.
Poor Dr. Zoidberg. His "erotic display" just doesn't turn out that well.
In one episode of the short-lived TV series, their friend Chet starts dating an alien woman. Unfortunately, she wants to devour him after sex. Luckily, his ex-girlfriend intervenes just in time.
A similar mating practice crops up in this scene from B5 's pilot. Commander Sinclair, he's a life-saver.
An alien in human form, Col. Granilla, comes aboard a human spaceship commanded by women. It's up to this nice Kansas girl to teach him the ways of human mating. Clip is NSFW.
Hand sex! Maryam D'Abo comes from an alien race who keep their erogenous zones in their hands. Here she is, getting it on with her boyfriend before their ship suffers a prison break. Clip is very work-safe, unless hand-sex offends you.
This Star Trek spoof featured an episode where Ficus, the unemotional plant man (who's the counterpart of Mr. Spock) has to seduce Princess Libido, who's fallen in love with him. His objective is to use his sexual wiles to convince Libido to help him and his crewmates escape from her evil father. There's just one problem: Ficus doesn't have sex like normal people. He reproduces by pollinating. He's only too happy to show Libido how.
Eve, a clone of Sil, gets so excited she squishes a baseball. It's all because an astronaut, Patrick, has brought something alien back to Earth with him, and it manifests itself while he has sex with a debutante, and then her sister. The debutante suddenly gets very, very pregnant, while the sister notices that Patrick is growing rather a lot of tentacles during sex. Later, Patrick and Eve get together, and Eve's nipples grow tentacles, which I've never seen before. Clips are very, very NSFW.
Walking in on your parents having sex is bad enough — but what if you've learned your parents are aliens, who have sex by melting their flesh and blending together into weird and monstrous forms? And your sister is also an alien, and her head comes out of your mother's crotch? And asks you if you have any Oedipal fantasies? You might be put off sex for quite some time. This clip may actually be work safe, hard to say.
A human gets tied up and subjected to mating with an alien whose penis is a giant bong. This NSFW clip already featured as a "found footage," but I had to include it for completeness. Warning: very NSFW!
Commenter Roklimber suggested this bizarre NSFW scene from a 1995 episode. Alyssa Milano is a nice college girl, until she gets hit with a spore from outer space. And then she suddenly wants to have sex with lots of guys... by absorbing them into herself.
Nerdy Gavin finally gets to have sex with an alien woman, but finds out it's not all it's cracked up to be. And meanwhile, a woman named Foxy gets implanted with an alien fetus. And yes, it's NSFW.
Additional reporting by Alasdair Wilkins.

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