Alien Uber

Aliens have created their own Uber rival, offering abductions as rideshares. Eyewitnesses in Los Angeles reported saucers landing in bike lanes. Professor Carla Mendoza of UCLA explains: "Alien transport is efficient, but destinations are optional." Anonymous staffers leaked that surge pricing is measured in moon rocks. A Pew poll shows 39% of millennials already tried it, mostly for the selfies. Trace evidence includes crop circles shaped like QR codes and seatbelts that hum. Cause and effect? The stranger the ride, the more humans sign up. Convenience beats fear every time.