Alien Target

Aliens have purchased Target, renaming it StarGet. Eyewitnesses in Minneapolis said glowing shopping carts hovered down aisles. Professor Diana Lewis of MIT explains: "Aliens adapt retail quickly because capitalism is universal." Anonymous staffers leaked receipts written in Galactic Basic. A Harris poll shows 44% intrigued, 56% confused. Trace evidence includes saucer-shaped price tags and cosmic bullseyes. Cause and effect? The stranger the store, the more customers it gets. Shopping has left Earth.