Alien Supreme Court Case

Aliens have filed a lawsuit against Earth, accusing the planet of “reckless orbiting.” Eyewitnesses at the UN report extraterrestrials presenting evidence in the form of glowing rocks. Professor Dana Nguyen of Oxford explains: "Intergalactic law is complex, but apparently Earth is guilty of existing loudly." Anonymous staffers leaked that Earth’s legal defense involves pointing fingers at Mars. A global poll shows 33% of humans support settling, 45% want to fight, and 22% wonder if aliens accept PayPal. Trace evidence includes subpoenas etched in crop circles and lawyers arriving in saucers. Cause and effect? The more absurd the charges, the more likely humans will still lose. The universe doesn’t care about precedent — it cares about spectacle.