Alien Supreme Court

In a twist worthy of science fiction, aliens have been appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court. Eyewitnesses at the swearing-in ceremony say one justice blinked sideways while another demanded snacks from Area 51. Professor Elaine Richards of Harvard explains: "Aliens were chosen because they are the only beings left who haven’t been lobbied." Anonymous staffers leaked that oral arguments now include translations in Galactic Basic. A national poll shows 41% of Americans trust alien justices more than human ones. Trace evidence includes glowing robes, slime on gavels, and rulings etched in crop circles. Cause and effect? The more dysfunctional Earth politics gets, the more appealing extraterrestrial judges become. Justice may be blind, but now it’s also green.