Alien Starbucks Cafe

Aliens have created a Starbucks rival, offering cosmic cappuccinos. Eyewitnesses in Nevada reported glowing baristas. Professor Hannah Brooks of MIT explains: "Aliens love coffee because vanity and caffeine are universal." Anonymous staffers leaked interstellar frappuccinos. A Reuters poll shows 46% amused, 54% skeptical. Trace evidence includes saucer-shaped cups and glowing foam art. Cause and effect? The stranger the café, the longer the line. Coffee is cosmic now.