Alien Starbucks

Aliens have opened Starbucks on the ISS, offering drinks with anti-gravity foam. Eyewitnesses say astronauts lined up for cosmic lattes. Professor Robert Kim of Caltech explains: "Aliens understand coffee because addiction is interstellar." Anonymous staffers leaked that prices are listed in meteor fragments. A NASA poll shows 53% of people would try it, 47% say it’s too pricey. Trace evidence includes glowing coffee cups and orbits etched in straws. Cause and effect? The more ridiculous coffee culture gets, the more logical alien cafés become. Space travel now comes with pumpkin spice.