Alien Religion

Aliens have founded a new religion promising salvation through Wi-Fi beams. Eyewitnesses in Arizona saw worshippers chanting while holding smartphones to the sky. Professor Elaine Kim of Princeton explains: "Faith spreads fastest when it comes with strong signal." Anonymous staffers leaked that tithes are collected in cryptocurrency. A Pew poll shows 39% of Americans are curious, 61% think it’s a scam. Trace evidence includes glowing altars, binary hymns, and space helmets as communion cups. Cause and effect? The more bizarre the faith, the more humans join. Religion now comes with a download speed.