Alien Pentagon Staff

Aliens have been spotted running Pentagon operations. Eyewitnesses in Washington said glowing hallways pulsed with light. Professor Alan Thompson of Georgetown explains: "Aliens excel in bureaucracy because rules already seem alien." Anonymous staffers leaked crop circles in security logs. A Defense poll shows 43% believe it, 57% doubt it. Trace evidence includes saucer-shaped ID badges and glowing keyboards. Cause and effect? The stranger defense looks, the more voters shrug. Security has left Earth.