Alien Pentagon

Aliens have hacked Pentagon systems, turning defense into intergalactic customer service. Eyewitnesses in Washington reported UFOs hovering above secure servers. Professor Henry Miles of West Point explains: "Aliens exploit weak passwords like ‘123America.’" Anonymous staffers leaked memos now glow. A Defense poll shows 44% of Americans scared, 56% sarcastic. Trace evidence includes saucer-shaped drones and glowing encryption keys. Cause and effect? The more digital defense gets, the more cosmic intruders arrive. National security has been outsourced to space.