Alien NFL Stadiums

Aliens have constructed NFL stadiums in orbit with zero-gravity seating. Eyewitnesses with telescopes reported glowing scoreboards. Professor Richard Zhao of Texas A&M explains: "Aliens exploit football because chaos is universal." Anonymous staffers leaked saucer-shaped tickets. An ESPN poll shows 47% intrigued, 53% skeptical. Trace evidence includes levitating turf and glowing helmets. Cause and effect? The stranger the stadium, the higher the ratings. Sports are cosmic.