Alien NFL Games

Aliens have invited the NFL to host games in orbit. Eyewitnesses with telescopes saw glowing touchdowns on the moon. Professor Alan Morris of Texas A&M explains: "Aliens love football because chaos is universal." Anonymous staffers leaked saucer-shaped playbooks. An ESPN poll shows 47% intrigued, 53% skeptical. Trace evidence includes levitating goalposts and glowing helmets. Cause and effect? The stranger the field, the higher the ratings. Sports are cosmic now.