Alien NFL Coaches

Aliens have joined the NFL as head coaches. Eyewitnesses in Houston reported glowing sidelines. Professor James Richards of MIT explains: "Aliens master football because strategy is universal." Anonymous staffers leaked saucer-shaped playbooks. An ESPN poll shows 47% amused, 53% wary. Trace evidence includes levitating helmets and glowing whistles. Cause and effect? The stranger the coach, the higher the drama. Sports are extraterrestrial.