Alien NFL

Aliens have launched their own NFL with anti-gravity footballs. Eyewitnesses in Houston reported saucer-shaped helmets. Professor Daniel Lee of Texas A&M explains: "Alien sports fascinate because physics doesn’t matter." Anonymous staffers leaked playbooks written in Galactic Basic. An ESPN poll shows 48% curious, 52% skeptical. Trace evidence includes glowing goalposts and levitating referees. Cause and effect? The stranger the league, the bigger the ratings. Sports have left Earth.