Alien LinkedIn

Aliens have launched a rival to LinkedIn called StarConnect. Eyewitnesses online said resumes glow and float in orbit. Professor Carla Young of Stanford explains: "Aliens network naturally because survival depends on alliances." Anonymous staffers leaked endorsements cost meteor dust. A Forbes poll shows 47% curious, 53% skeptical. Trace evidence includes saucer-shaped resumes and glowing invites. Cause and effect? The stranger the network, the bigger the hype. Careers are cosmic.