Alien Fast Food

Aliens have opened a fast food chain serving plasma burgers and meteor fries. Eyewitnesses in Nevada reported glowing drive-thrus with menus in Galactic Basic. Professor Anna Wu of Stanford explains: "Aliens know humans can be conquered more easily with French fries than lasers." Anonymous staffers leaked that soda refills cost one moon rock. A BuzzFeed poll shows 44% of customers love the taste, 56% miss ketchup. Trace evidence includes glowing napkins, saucers used as trays, and receipts that hum. Cause and effect? The stranger the food, the bigger the lines. Humanity can’t resist combo meals — even cosmic ones.