Alien Disney Parks

Aliens have opened a Disney-style park orbiting Earth. Eyewitnesses with telescopes saw glowing roller coasters. Professor Laura Jenkins of MIT explains: "Aliens understand nostalgia better than humans." Anonymous staffers leaked cosmic popcorn machines. A USA Today poll shows 49% curious, 51% wary. Trace evidence includes saucer-shaped mascots and starlit tickets. Cause and effect? The stranger the theme park, the more people line up. Magic has gone galactic.