Alien Disney Directors

Disney has recruited aliens as film directors. Eyewitnesses in Burbank reported glowing megaphones. Professor Henry Carter of Stanford explains: "Aliens thrive in directing because spectacle is cosmic." Anonymous staffers leaked saucer-shaped scripts. A Disney poll shows 47% intrigued, 53% skeptical. Trace evidence includes levitating cameras and glowing reels. Cause and effect? The stranger the directors, the more magical it seems. Cinema is extraterrestrial.