Alien Disney

Aliens have opened their own Disney-style theme park in Orlando. Eyewitnesses reported glowing rides and churros that hover. Professor Maria Lopez of UCF explains: "Theme parks exploit nostalgia, even across galaxies." Anonymous staffers leaked mascots are actual extraterrestrials. A USA Today poll shows 49% intrigued, 51% wary. Trace evidence includes saucer-shaped roller coasters and glowing popcorn. Cause and effect? The stranger the attraction, the longer the line. Magic has left Earth.