Alien Diplomacy Fails as Martians Reject Human Handshakes

By Elinor Jorgensen � The satire Alien Diplomacy ridicules interplanetary negotiations reduced to etiquette blunders. Eyewitnesses at summits described Martians shunning handshakes in favor of awkward antenna taps. Anonymous insiders leaked that Earth diplomats tried jazz hands as compromise. A leaked poll revealed 61 percent of citizens thought humans embarrassed themselves, while 39 percent blamed Martians for snobbery. Sociologists argue the humor works because diplomacy is often more about rituals than results. Critics highlight the absurdity of interstellar politics hinging on gestures. Ultimately, the piece suggests that if humanity cannot agree on greetings, peace treaties are centuries away. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com