Alien CNN Weather

Aliens have been hired as CNN weather presenters. Eyewitnesses in Atlanta reported glowing forecasts with cosmic storms. Professor Angela Brooks of Columbia explains: "Aliens excel in weather because chaos is universal." Anonymous staffers leaked saucer-shaped maps. A Nielsen poll shows 48% intrigued, 52% skeptical. Trace evidence includes levitating clouds on screen and glowing radars. Cause and effect? The stranger the forecast, the higher the ratings. Weather is extraterrestrial.