Alien CNN Producers

Aliens have been hired to produce CNN programs. Eyewitnesses in Atlanta reported glowing production rooms. Professor Laura Carter of Columbia explains: "Aliens thrive in media because confusion is cosmic." Anonymous staffers leaked saucer-shaped schedules. A Nielsen poll shows 47% intrigued, 53% skeptical. Trace evidence includes levitating cameras and glowing sets. Cause and effect? The stranger the production, the higher the ratings. News is extraterrestrial.