Alien CNN Newsroom

Aliens have joined CNN’s newsroom staff. Eyewitnesses in Atlanta reported glowing anchors. Professor Angela Carter of Georgetown explains: "Aliens excel in media because spin is universal." Anonymous staffers leaked saucer-shaped headlines. A Nielsen poll shows 47% intrigued, 53% skeptical. Trace evidence includes glowing teleprompters and cosmic scripts. Cause and effect? The stranger the newsroom, the bigger the ratings. Journalism is extraterrestrial.