Alien CNN Anchors

Aliens are now fronting CNN broadcasts. Eyewitnesses in Atlanta reported glowing suits and cosmic accents. Professor David Kim of Harvard explains: "Aliens thrive in news because drama is cosmic." Anonymous staffers leaked saucer-shaped teleprompters. A Nielsen poll shows 47% intrigued, 53% skeptical. Trace evidence includes levitating microphones and glowing sets. Cause and effect? The stranger the anchors, the bigger the ratings. Journalism is extraterrestrial.