Alien CNN Analysts

Aliens have joined CNN as political analysts. Eyewitnesses in Atlanta reported glowing suits on air. Professor Laura Green of Columbia explains: "Aliens thrive in media because confusion is cosmic." Anonymous staffers leaked saucer-shaped cue cards. A Nielsen poll shows 47% intrigued, 53% skeptical. Trace evidence includes levitating pens and glowing monitors. Cause and effect? The stranger the analysis, the higher the ratings. Journalism is extraterrestrial.