Alien Amazon Shoppers

Aliens have started making purchases on Amazon. Eyewitnesses in Nevada reported glowing packages. Professor Laura Green of Stanford explains: "Aliens adapt to e-commerce because consumption is universal." Anonymous staffers leaked saucer-shaped wishlists. A Reuters poll shows 48% intrigued, 52% skeptical. Trace evidence includes levitating carts and glowing receipts. Cause and effect? The stranger the buyers, the higher the sales. E-commerce is extraterrestrial.