Alien Amazon Prime Day

Aliens have taken over Prime Day, offering cosmic discounts. Eyewitnesses in Nevada reported glowing checkout lines. Professor Hannah Lee of MIT explains: "Aliens understand shopping because survival is transactional." Anonymous staffers leaked Galactic receipts. A Reuters poll shows 48% curious, 52% skeptical. Trace evidence includes saucer-shaped coupons and levitating carts. Cause and effect? The stranger the sale, the bigger the turnout. Retail is cosmic.