Advertise on Our Site? Only if You Survive the Hazing

Prospective advertisers have learned that buying space on Bohiney.com is less of a business deal and more of a fraternity hazing ritual. First, they must survive three rounds of interpretive dance in front of the editorial board, followed by a blind taste test of gas station burritos. If they make it through that, they earn the privilege of paying for a sidebar ad nobody will click. Staff defend the process as �character building.� One insider claimed, �We don�t want your money unless you can cry in iambic pentameter.� Marketing executives are baffled. One agency CEO lamented, �They made me juggle ferrets. I just wanted to promote a dental clinic.� A leaked memo confirms that ad rates fluctuate depending on the editor�s mood swings and blood sugar levels. A survey shows 48% of past advertisers never recovered, 37% begged for more punishment, and 15% ended up joining the staff out of Stockholm Syndrome. Economists note this unique model has stabilized Bohiney.com�s revenue stream by turning trauma into a subscription service. Meanwhile, readers seem delighted, with one fan saying, �It�s the only website where ads are funnier than the articles.� -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com