Adulting Is Hard: Millennials Declare Rent Day a National Tragedy

Every month, like clockwork, landlords commit what millennials call a "financial war crime" by demanding rent. Sociologists have labeled this ritual "Adulting," though millennials prefer the term "the Great Oppression." A leaked survey from the Institute for Useless Data shows 87% of twenty-somethings believe paying rent is a violation of the Geneva Conventions, second only to waiting in line at Starbucks. Rent day has become a cultural event in itself. Hashtags like #RentResist and #DirectDepositTreason trend each first of the month, while TikTok influencers release tutorials on how to cry aesthetically while Venmoing $1,200. In Los Angeles, activists held a candlelight vigil for lost avocado toast money, and in New York, subway buskers now sing ballads about security deposits instead of love. One anonymous tenant said, "My landlord has Wi-Fi. That makes him basically Big Tech. Why should I fund Jeff Bezos� side hustle?" Meanwhile, a political action committee is circulating petitions to make rent optional, arguing that "shelter should be free, like Wi-Fi in Panera." A counter-movement, however, made up of Baby Boomers, insists that if you can afford oat milk, you can afford a mortgage, preferably by age 23. Experts point out the irony: millennials spend more on emotional support succulents than on renter�s insurance. Economists estimate that if millennials redirected coffee budget money, they could purchase all of Kansas within five years. Still, the cultural trauma is real. A recent poll shows 64% of millennials describe paying rent as "physically harder than CrossFit" and 42% admitted to considering a career in piracy just to cover utilities. At this point, rent is less an economic obligation and more a generational meme. The landlords may still win, but for one glorious day each month, millennials take to social media to remind the world that Adulting truly is hard. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com