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I even found a literal niche for myself in Amish porn
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Maybe it is a little sick and twisted, but I've had guys who want to watch my work

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Published: 21:13 BST, 8 July 2016 | Updated: 13:07 BST, 9 July 2016
A former porn star has lifted the lid on what it was really like to go from from a college student to adult entertainer as she reveals that the only X-rated films she likes to watch with her partners are the ones she's starred in.
The retired adult entertainer from Massachusetts, who goes by the pseudonym S.K., joined Cosmopolitan.com editors Elisa Benson and Ali Drucker for a candid discussion about women and porn on the latest episode of the Cosmo Happy Hour podcast, in which she dished about everything watching her adult films with her partners and the camaraderie on set.
'It wasn't like I was desperate for money, so there was no need for me to do anything I didn't feel like doing,' S.K. explains of her time in the industry. 'I was really there to have a good time. [Porn] was more of a passion project for me, so I really only did as much of it as I thought would be fun.'
Lifting the lid: A former porn star going by the name S.K. reveals what is really like to work in the industry during a candid interview on the latest episode of the Cosmo Happy Hour podcast (file photo used)
S.K. says she has 'always had a little sex vixen waiting to be unleashed', but before she got into porn, she was working as a webcam girl inside the the dorm room of her New England liberal arts college.
'You could truly choose your own adventure, and I had a lot of props and costumes,' she says of her time as a webcamming.
S.K. eventually developed a regular fan base and started looking into another avenues of doing porn in on the East Coast before she headed to Los Angeles, where she started doing improv comedy.
When one of the women from her improvisation class revealed that a producer asked her to take her shirt off and she refused, S.K. says she was reminded of her interest in getting into the adult film industry.
After Googling the top porn agencies in Los Angeles, S.K. took a series of nude photos of herself and sent them off.
S.K. says she was soon contacted by former porn star Shy Love, who founded Adult Talent Managers.
During their first meeting, she says Shy Love told her to get naked and noted that she has 'five different shades of skin tone'.
'My tan was quite uneven at the time. I was like, "I'm sorry I'm from Boston,"' she recalls.
'You need to get a tan. I want you three shades darker,' Shy Love told her before giving her the name of a tanning place and hair stylist to start her adult film makeover.
S.K. explains that the of the first things Shy Love told her was that she is 'very raw'.
'That was actually part of my appeal,' she says looking back. 'I think that I was all natural — I even found a literal niche for myself in Amish porn. They really liked the whole natural look.'
S.K. says she was so excited about the opportunity that she was almost open to anything, however, she admits that when Shy Love asked her why she wanted to get involved in the industry, she didn't have a really good reason.
She and Shy Love went through the porn scenarios she would be willing to do, and the owner of the agency helped mentor S.K., explaining that she should start off in 'masturbation' and 'girl on girl' and stay there as long as she could.
'It is all about novelty so that's why they get so excited when new girls show up, but you really want to maximize your potential,' she explains. 'So you sort of make your rounds in each genre, but its like if you do anal first it is like, "Oh, she has already done that."'
S.K. says she had no problem getting naked during her go-sees with production companies because it was something she genuinely wanted to do.
'[If] you are signing up to do porn, you have to expect that you are getting naked and people are going to be looking at you in a sexual way,' she explains. 'I think as long as you know what you are signing up for... but I don't know if everyone sort of has the luxury I had, where it's not like my rent was due.'
'I got a labiaplasty so I wanted to show that off,' she adds.
When it comes to shooting, S.K. says you know you are going to be getting 'extremely intimate' with your co-stars, so 'you just really start hitting it off right away'.
S.K. says the guy starts 'courting you immediately' and is 'treating you like this goddess', however, she admits that she has exchanged numbers with some of the men, and she has regretted it.
'It was always like a fun atmosphere,' she recalls. 'I always felt euphoric after these shoots, and the other girls too I thought were lovely. Like most people just really loved having sex, so they were usually happy to be there I think. They seemed like it.'
S.K. says one of her favorite parts of shooting was actually the interview section before the sex starts, however, she realized male fans had no idea what she was talking about.
'Most guys I would talk to would be like, "Wait what? I skipped over the at least first 10 minutes." So they are just waiting for that money shot I think.
And similarly to the sex scenes featured in Hollywood blockbusters, S.K. says camera men knew what angles to look for and would position her in certain ways.
However, when asked what the most popular angles were, S.K. says 'p***y'.
'That is really what it is focusing on [in hardcore porn],' she says, 'But the softcore can't show the actual penetration, so you have to somehow hide it.'
Eventually, S.K. told her parents about her career in the adult film industry, and she explains that their level-headed reactions made her gain even more respect for her mother and father, who really focused on understanding her decision and making sure she was being safe.
'I think one particular woman really may have gotten a lot of pleasure from being the one to bear the news to my mother, and I would have hated that,' S.K. says of her mom finding out.
However, when the woman in question called her mom and asked if she knew that her daughter was doing porn, her mother had an incredible reaction.
'I don't think she really knew the full extent of what I was doing at the time, [but] she was like, "Why yes, yes I did. Goodbye now."'
After working in the industry from the ages of 23 to 25, S.K. says she decided to not renew her contract because it started to feel like work and she knew it wasn't her 'true life calling', it was just something she wanted to try.
'Personally, I don't watch very much porn,' she admits. 'Before trying it myself, I hadn't really watched much either.'
However, S.K. says she does like to watch her own work from time to time.
'Maybe it is a little sick and twisted, but I've had guys who want to watch my work while also being with me in the flesh,' she admits. 'And that's always been kind of fun for me.'
S.K. also says that when she finally tells her suitors about her past they think it is really cool.
'They're like, "Whoa, I've never met a porn star before." It can make their life.'
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