Adult Lovemaking

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Adult Lovemaking


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Part of HuffPost Wellness. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
This Is What Adult Love Really Looks Like
Mar 25, 2015, 02:04 PM EDT | Updated Mar 25, 2015
Part of HuffPost Wellness. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
What does it take to make a romantic relationship work?
A new video from The School Of Life , a London-based organization that centers on emotional intelligence, takes a closer look at that question -- and at love in general.
As the video explains, the first love we ever experience is the love of our parents. And in most cases, that love is unconditional . “The relationship [between a child and parents] is almost always entirely nonreciprocal. The parent loves, but they don’t expect the favor to be returned in any significant way," the narrator says, adding, “each party is on a very different end of the axis.”
When we grow up, we look to romantic relationships to provide us with that same love, School of Life says. We want a partner to love us unconditionally, and are often surprised or unsuccessful when romantic relationships involve a lot of give and take.
“For any relationship to work, we need to move firmly out of the child and into the parental position," the narrator points out. "We need to become someone who can sometimes subordinate their own demands to the needs of another.”
Psychiatrist Marcia Sirota wrote about loving like an adult in a blog for The Huffington Post.
"People in adult relationships aren't constantly frustrated with their partner, complaining about them or passive-aggressively leaking anger at them," she wrote. "Adults are willing to work on a relationship that they feel is worth saving, but they're able to walk away when it's clear that it no longer make sense to stay together."

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Loving and being Loved is a basic necessity in life. There are many ways to and be loved but I believe if you strip all these ways bare (be it romantic, friends, family etc), you will find that it comes down to two main kinds of love: 'Adult' love and 'Childish' love.
We believe children love unconditionally. They do so, to an extent, but with totally no boundaries. It's actually mostly conditional because love's what the child uses in order to buy the love of their caretakers and people who are supposed to protect them. 
An adult can love like a child (childish love) and of course, often doesn't even know it. This adult is often someone who has not grown up or matured emotionally yet and acts just as he did in his childhood even though they're a full grown adult. This behaviour can be acted out in their relationships but also at work and within their family lives. Childish/child-like love is blind. It buys love and doesn't hesitate to manipulate in order to do so. Childish love tends to control and hang onto and therefore doesn't set us or the people we love free. Childish love judges. 
When a man or woman understands that love doesn't require buying or manipulating, they are loving maturely. A mature man or woman can bear the weight of solitude. Adult love is assertive and firm, it knows when to say yes and is brave enough to acknowledge when it's time to say no. Adult love means not wanting yourself or your partner to take on an 'inferior' role. Adult love requires you to respect the other even when you might not agree. Loving maturely is recognising and accepting accountability and quickly responding to your actions in a way that is truly responsible. 
Adult love means healthy boundaries. It is the difference between empathy and sympathy. It means helping rather than saving. It means forgiving but not forgetting because forgetting might mean repeating the same behaviours. Adult love is joyful and doesn't hold onto fleeting moments of anger and sadness. Adult love is not controlling, jealous or possessive. It's not critical but rather it is constructive. Adult love nurtures interdependency rather than co-dependency. Adult love is not cynical but rather open and curious. 
A mature adult loves in a mature way but with a child-like nature. They know the difference and take responsibility to work on themselves and recognise and resolve the residual childhood conditioning rubbing off on their present reality. They do this before going out there to try and love another or change the world, aware that first they must discern what it is to adult love in the first place. Adult love, then, can come at a high price: that of loneliness. For we need to give ourselves the opportunity to become individuals in our own right, in our own lives and discover our place in our own destinies, separate from our children, partners, parents, friends and siblings. Easier said than done, which is why most of us prefer to remain blind and keep loving in a childish way. 
Adult love can continue to mature and develop slowly and steadily, recognising the time it takes to heal old wounds and re-wire negative behaviours. It recognises that real growth and acceptance is a byproduct of letting go of control and expectations. 
Adult love is what we should aim to embody and practice. When we understand what it is and how to express it, it's important to love ourselves maturely first, before we are able to adult love someone else. 
Adult love, unlike childish love, is not blind: it functions as the lens to finally see and accept ourselves and others for who we really are, in our light and shadow. It enables us to follow our destinies free of ties to the past and allow others to follow theirs. It allows us to be and love freely and gives others the opportunity to do the same with themselves and us. 
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Gina
on August 21, 2016 at 11:43 pm


Kelly
on October 10, 2016 at 6:06 pm

Posted by Cynthia Loyst | Aug 21, 2016 | LOVE & SEX | 3
When you are watching something sexy, it doesn’t take much to take you from horny to horrified.
Imagine you’re watching a sexy movie. A sultry, well-dressed woman sashays her way into an office elevator. An expensively suited man follows in behind her. The doors close. He suddenly turns, pushes her up against the wall and starts passionately kissing her. She reaches down his pants. His hand moves to her blouse and begins slowly undoing it. And when they pull apart, you notice he looks EXACTLY LIKE YOUR MOST-HATED EX.
When we’re watching something sexy it doesn’t take much to bring many of us from horny to horrified. So if you’re someone who can be easily turned off by bad visuals – allow me to introduce you to the wild world of erotic audio.
When I first heard about this strange subgenre of porn, I assumed it was just sound pulled from adult movies. And some of it is exactly that. But when I started poking around I realized the most interesting stuff is made specifically by and for those who are sound voyeurs.
Before listening to some of these clips, I didn’t even know I was one. I’ve never been a huge fan of dirty talk. But I’ve always felt there is something about listening to someone’s voice alone that can create a surprisingly intimate relationship. Anyone who loves radio already knows this.
In the wild world of sexy audio, there’s something for everyone.
But it’s more than just the sound of the voice. When you are only listening, you are allowed to fill in all of the other details with your imagination. You can imagine that the person who is speaking is whatever race, age, size and look that you like. Or that the person whispering in your ear is doing it JUST FOR YOU, which makes it immersive and sexy in a really unique way.
In the wild world of sexy audio, there’s something for everyone. There’s the standard obvious kind of sexy clips, like women alone in bathtubs and shy exhibitionistic couples. Those clips are saucy but the ones I really love are the ones where people get their creative juices flowing too.
Like the aspiring writer-types who put up their scripts in the hopes that some aspiring actor-types will come along and record them for him or her.
For example, someone wrote a fantasy script about a naughty encounter that takes place in a library called “Mr. Stranger” . And then a kind stranger with a sexy voice came along and recorded it for him.
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Others are charming. For example, this fine gentleman created a piece called “You Are Fat and Beautiful” for a curvy girl who requested some well deserved worship.
Excerpt:
And if accents and/or actors are your thing, here’s one I found that sounds like you have Colin Farrell in your bed.
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Some of the clips are super geeky in the best possible way like this clip geared towards Game Of Thrones fans who had a particular affinity for the (spoiler alert) late Oberon Martell aka The Red Viper. “Care To Lie With a Prince? Part 2”
Excerpt:
Just like regular porn, some of the scenarios are raunchy. Many are potentially triggering. But even at their worst, they are still way less offensive because you know that it’s all FANTASY. In other words, the chances of someone being hurt by this are pretty minimal. On many of the sites you can also filter out anything you don’t want to hear.
So if you’ve ever been turned off by traditional visual porn, or held your breath at night to listen to your hotel room neighbours, or if you simply like a little dirty talk – then erotic audio just might be music to your ears.
I’m a girl who talks a lot about sex and pleasure.
Advice for a lesbian who has fallen in love with her boss.
It can get better with age…here’s how.
Meet a couple who forged their marriage while finding their fetish.
Audio is great, for the exact reasons outlined above. Sounds and fantasies turn me on more than flesh. My imagination usually creates a sexier scenario than any porn director could dream of. My favourite are unscripted, uncensored amateurs just enjoying themselves.
I am so excited to check some of these out! I often find if I am not 100% turned on when I watch porn that I quickly become turned off by the littlest of things.
Oh gosh, pleasure seeker ..pleasure successfully FOUND!
Add someone like Ed Westwick making erotic noises though. Now THATS a very pleasant erotic accent ❤
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