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*Mental health disorder and substance use disorder treatment may be available at a reduced cost or for free for Illinois residents within the State of Illinois For more information about Illinois SUD services visit: www.dhs.state.il.us
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There’s nothing like the bond between a mother and her child. But when a mother is held captive by addiction, this disease attempts to make drugs or alcohol the most important thing in her life, until she becomes blind to everything else.
If you have found yourself in the depths of drug or alcohol addiction, there is a way out. For the sake of the ones you love so dearly, here’s how to tackle obstacles unique to mothers so you can achieve sobriety.
Moms are not immune to a substance use disorder. As you rush about your day, caring for your family and giving yourself little time to breathe or relax, you may find yourself turning to unhealthy habits. What starts as a prescription for pain or anxiety can escalate into a full-blown addiction. That’s because many mothers struggle with underlying issues unique to their situation, such as:
Admitting you have a drug or alcohol problem is difficult for anyone, especially addicted moms. There are many barriers moms face when it comes to their recovery, including:
The best approach to help mothers recover is to help them see how their addiction is affecting their family and impacting themselves.
Most moms choose to get treatment because of their children and partners. They know they’re not truly there for their kids because of alcohol or drug abuse. Plus, the thought of putting their children at risk through their continued substance use offers a huge source of motivation.
Mothers addicted to drugs or alcohol often struggle with self-loathing and guilt. When they realize that treatment could help them feel happier and healthier, this gives them a push toward getting help.
Mothers with substance use disorders have a unique set of challenges when going through the recovery process. Thankfully, there are steps you can take to ensure you have the support you need to face and overcome each obstacle.
Here are some tips for moms in the addiction recovery process:
If you are a mom and an addict, then it’s time to take the first step toward healing — for yourself and for your family. At Gateway, our evidence-based treatment programs are designed to help you reclaim your life and break the chains of addiction. We offer specialized rehab for women , addressing your specific needs to ensure you get the support you need.
If you would like to find out more, contact us today . Our compassionate team is waiting for your call. Reach us at 877.379.9078.
See why Newsweek Magazine named us as one of America’s top addiction treatment centers for the second year in a row.
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Austin, TX
Brooklyn, NY
Chicago, IL
Denver, CO
Houston, TX
Los Angeles, CA
New York, NY
Portland, OR
San Diego, CA
San Francisco, CA
Seattle, WA
Washington, DC
Mental Health
Addiction
Anxiety
ADHD
Asperger's
Autism
Bipolar Disorder
Chronic Pain
Depression
Eating Disorders
Personality
Passive Aggression
Personality
Shyness
Personal Growth
Goal Setting
Happiness
Positive Psychology
Stopping Smoking
Relationships
Low Sexual Desire
Relationships
Sex
Family Life
Child Development
Parenting
Talk to Someone
Find a Therapist
Find a Treatment Center
Find a Psychiatrist
Find a Support Group
Find Teletherapy
Trending Topics
Coronavirus Disease 2019
Narcissism
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Bias
Affective Forecasting
Neuroscience
The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
I recently had a family, minus the mother, come to see me. They were greatly concerned, and rightfully so that Mom was “using”. Mom is indeed addicted to opiates and other narcotics that have kept her back pain at bay for years. A couple of pills in the morning get her up. Two more at breakfast. Who knows what goes on during the day? A few before making dinner. And then Mom is catatonic and crashed out before even the littlest goes to bed. Then the process continues all over again and when the medication proved to be less effective, more and more was added.
Yes, the family is keeping count and yes, they do notice the significant changes in behavior throughout the day. There are the ups and the downs. They can monitor the pain as much as their Mother can just by watching the pill intake. And the amount of narcotics has increased significantly over the years. It is no secret that as your body becomes used to certain drugs it craves and demands more and more for the same result.
But new articles (CAMFT, September/October 2012) note that there is a progression from medication dependency to medication abuse to pseudo- addiction and then finally addiction. Where is the line and are we kidding ourselves. The pharmaceutical industry will do anything to hide from the word “addiction.” Unfortunately those who are addicted cannot.
Mom is scared to death to stop taking the pills. If you have ever suffered from severe back pain or other chronic pain , you know it is excruciating, life changing. The offer of pain clinics, hypnosis , alternative medicine have no allure to someone who feels they have conquered the pain through other means, no matter what those means are. Suggestions of twelve-step programs seem ridiculous to someone who is suffering so. The article goes on to suggest such non-pharmacological treatments as hydrotherapy, physical therapy , acupuncture, prayer, meditation , and hypnosis
The question is, how do you solve the problem? Clearly the pill popping is not going to stop until the pain does. As it turned out, the research on back pain treatment by Mom and Dad has been minimal. After one round of back surgery, Mom swore, “never again.” There are, however, newer treatments that do not require surgery and have proven extremely effective. In this case I believe they can be life saving in many ways.
Let’s say the treatment is successful? Can Mom automatically stop the pills? The answer is no. Mom is an addict or a pseudo-addict and like any addiction, relapse without the proper monitoring is always possible. She will need an intensive program overseen by the appropriate medical experts to wean her off the drugs and help her deal with her irrational thinking and urges.
The best solution is to find a real solution to the issue causing the pain. For those who have had no success in the past, keep looking. There are newer treatments that are very effective. For those currently taking narcotic-based medication, the pharmaceutical world has changed offering a wide arrange of non-narcotic products that actually work.
It is also important to make your family part of the process. They need to be your cheerleaders in trying new interventions and be there to help you as you wean yourself from the old ones.
Having a parent who is an addict is both frightening and embarrassing. Make sure your child has someone to talk to about this so they can understand the problem and be part of the solution. A supportive family is always the best medicine.
Susan Winston, LMFT , is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a television producer and writer in Los Angeles.
Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.
Psychology Today © 2022 Sussex Publishers, LLC
The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
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Addiction. A Mother's Story
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June Ariano-Jakes is the mother of five adult children, and the grandmother of six. Born and raised in Sioux Lookout, Ontario, Canada, she and her family relocated to British Columbia, Canada in the summer of 1988.
June has volunteered more than 16,000 hours assisting those who live in poverty and homelessness, and who struggle with severe alcoholism, hard-core drug addiction, and brain-related illness. She is a fierce and loyal advocate for those suffering, and is well-respected among her peers and those she serves.
Once addiction grabbed hold of her son Nathan, June became relentless in her efforts to understand and educate herself in all areas of addiction, searching for answers to help her son battle what would become a 23-year heroin, cocaine, crack cocaine, and crystal meth addiction.
June is a much sought after speaker and educator in the field of addiction, and has given over 400 presentations on Addiction, Homelessness, and Gang Violence in secondary schools throughout the province, at colleges and universities, detox centres, recovery and treatment programs, parent support groups, jails, churches, union meetings and service clubs.
Available for speaking engagements and panel discussions on the effects of addiction within a family, she would be honored and privileged to be invited to your group or organization.
To book a presentation please contact June via the user-friendly “Contact June” page on this website
I am 59 and started doing drugs for real about 10 years ago….i was smoking crack at 200 dollars a night…destroyed everything I touched
Including my sons
I am down to once a week and Las night I did not even want to but of course ny dealer for the last ten years called …my doctor once asked me if I had smoked crack and I said yes..what was it like she asked..like a 24 hour a day job
My reason for starting so late in life was repressed memory, I had been sexually abused in a foster home from ages 6-8
Along with my sister 4-6 who committed suicide
She spent her life hiding in heroine and i spent mine just hiding
NO ONE WANTS TO BE AN ADDICT WHEN THEY GROW UP!
I am humbled Debi that you took the time to share your story with me. I cannot imagine the pain and suffering both you and your sister endured at the hands of someone who was supposed to protect and care for you. And the loss of your sister continues to inflict that pain and suffering. You and your sister were victims of true evil. And how could that not have impacted your lives in a most profound way.
It seems easier sometimes to “bury” those memories – put them away and hide from them. But memories of that magnitude continue to hurt and damage the person just trying to somehow forget. We cannot forget that kind of pain and that is when we try and do whatever it takes to “not feel them”. The problem is, that pain is so profound it is impossible to escape.
If you were never given the opportunity to express the hurt, the anger, the betrayal, and feel completely safe voicing that, it is impossible to heal. I hope that you will reach out to your doctor, or someone you know you can trust and arrange to speak to a specialist who understand the incredible trauma caused when you were an innocent child.
Have you ever spoken to your sons about this? They may begin to understand why you had that need to “escape”. That pain was just to great. Drug use more often than not is about pain. Trying to forget. To push it down. The only thing it does in the end is cause you more pain which is what you are enduring. I believe it would be safe to say you are suffering with PTSD. How could you not be. You have survived the only way you know how. But it is time for you to reach out and grab the lifeline you deserve Debi. You have suffered far to long. It is time to be kind to yourself. You have the right to live the life you deserve with peace, not nightmares and continued losses.
You deserve the peace you were denied as a child. I hope you will ask for help Debi – you deserve nothing less. Please keep in touch. Write any time you feel like sharing or venting or just to connect. I am so sorry for all you have endured. It is time to take care of yourself. Know you are not alone. I truly care.
June 6ᵀᴴ, 2017 the battle was lost. I have been trying to understand how & why it all happened. What could I have done differently that would have prevented him from dying homeless & all alone in a parking lot. People walked past his body for 3 days. He lay in the heat. He had to be identified by a tattoo because he no longer looked like the picture in his wallet. He was always so particular about his appearance, he would not have wanted to go that way. He relapsed after being clean for almost a year. I am told he went back to chasing the dragon. Just once after being clean for so long. It killed him.
He was depressed about not being able to find affordable housing. He didn’t have references. That was the final trigger. Feeling like there was no way he would ever be off the streets.
Was there something I could have done to prevent the beating he sustained in Surrey, B.C. that left him disfigured & brain damaged. My beautiful son, so much like yours – kind hearted with a smile that would melt your heart.
I guess I led a sheltered life. I didn’t recognize the signs. I didn’t see the red flags. Now after reading your book & doing research on the web I realize they were there. So many, going back to when he was diagnosed with ADD at 7 years old. This was 30 years ago, there was no “Google”. I was ignorant of his inner struggle. I didn’t know how to save him.
I am truly humbled Zanzara, that you have taken the time, in the midst of your utmost despair to write. I can feel your pain in every single word you have written. I am truly, truly sorry for the pain and heartbreak you are going through and have felt many times over the years of your son’s battle with addiction. And I am truly sorry he lost his battle with this horrific disease.
I am glad y
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