Accidentally Fucked Sister Stories
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Accidentally Fucked Sister Stories
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Should I be worried that my daughter's game of "truth or dare" included sexually aggressive behaviors?
My daughter, age 11, and another boy, age 12, were on the school bus playing "truth or dare". They dared each other to pull their pants down and they did; but then the boy dared my daughter to perform oral sex. Well, she put her mouth over his penis, and he put his hands on her head and made her stay there. Is this a problem or normal behavior?
The behaviors you described are very concerning. It seems that your daughter started out playing this game, possibly knowing that it was forbidden territory, but then quickly found herself way out of her depth. It must have been very scary for her to feel trapped by the other child’s physical force. She will benefit from your acknowledgment of how frightening the experience must have been for her, as well as your support and comfort. She will also benefit from guidance from you regarding peer pressure and healthy sexuality. Prioritizing your daughter’s need for information regarding appropriate sexual behaviors and personal boundaries will provide you with some next steps. Some articles that may help you prepare what to say to your daughter are Stop It Now!'s Understanding Sexual Behaviors in Kids and Talking to Children and Teens ; and Talking About Sex and Sexuality: A Resource for Parents (link is external) from Planned Parenthood (link is external) . Gathering additional information about the situation may be very helpful. Some further questions you may want to ask include:
You may also want to find out more about the type of supervision provided on your daughter’s school bus.
Consider having your daughter see a counselor as well. This can provide her the opportunity to share more about what happened and how she is impacted by this event. She may also be facing difficulties at school seeing the boy there or even with potential witnesses on the bus. Additional supports for her may be very helpful and this may provide a support to you as the parent in helping to understand what your daughter needs in terms of information and guidance regarding healthy and safe behaviors.Additionally if you pursue counseling for your daughter, this therapist may feel that this is a reportable incident and you can work with the therapist through this process. To find counseling resources for youth, you can check with your insurance provider, primary care physician or your daughter's school counselor may have some resources.
Talking with this boy’s parents should be strongly considered. He is potentially putting himself and other children at risk for harm with his behaviors and when parents can speak up to other parents about children’s concerning behaviors, then steps can be identified and acted upon to better protect the children.The supervision on the bus needs to be addressed and this can present an opportunity to review your school’s policy on how they handle child on child sexual behaviors. I do not necessarily recommend at this time that your school respond with a full-fledged investigation that could potentially become very public and possibly damaging to your daughter’s sense of safety and well-being.Do you have information on how your school responds to these types of situations? Are you comfortable partnering with your school to help design a response to this situation that does not further traumatize your daughter, or put her or the other boy at risk for unwanted (and unproductive) exposure? I would review these questions with another trusted adult as you determine your action steps with your school.
However, should your own exploration determine that there are ongoing behaviors that are sexual and unhealthy in that they are aggressive, unwanted and are not age-appropriate, you may want to make a formal report to the police and your school. The possible impact on your daughter of bringing this into the open at school so that other children are made aware of what happened does need to be considered.
If you do decide to follow up with your daughter’s school, include a conversation with the school principal to find out what steps the school can take to minimize the risk that such an incident could happen again, and what steps the school will take to see that supervision is improved on the bus. If you are not satisfied with the answers you are getting, you have the option of meeting with the Superintendent of Schools in your district. Our prevention tipsheet, Nine Questions Parents Need To Ask When Selecting A Program For Their Child can help you formulate your questions and think about how your school’s environment can be as safe as possible.
This is a complex situation because it contains typical behaviors, as well as concerning behaviors that involve sexual activity and physical force. However you respond, your daughter will benefit from you taking her concerns seriously and in follow up activities to help protect her from further inappropriate and potentially dangerous situations.
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I am 32 and married with children but in serious trouble because I messed up with a young girl (18) from our estate and she is now pregnant. We became friends after I frequently gave her a lift to town then we had casual no-strings-attached sex on several occasions. She is now four months pregnant and she is asking me what she is going to tell her parents. I have tried to talk to her but she isn’t listening. I don’t love her and I can’t imagine losing my family because of this young and irresponsible girl. I think some neighbours are already suspecting something from the way they make funny statements at me and so it may just be a matter of time before this comes out. I don’t know what to do. Please advise.
Ochieng, are you calling her young and irresponsible now that she is pregnant for you? Accept that she is expectant and since she is not underage consider engaging all the concerned parties including her parents and your family. You knew you did not love her but still went ahead and slept with her. Choices have consequences. Face this problem head-on, tell your wife what you did and prepare to raise this chid.
This is a problem of your own making. I would not encourage you to ask anyone to terminate a pregnancy. People already know of the story so in case she procures abortion and she dies or something happens you shall be the first culprit. You better inform your wife and your parents of this pregnant lady and be ready to support her and her baby because it has happened after your prolonged relationship. But first wait for the birth of the child then you can do a DNA test to confirm paternity then if it turns out positive you can do what will be required of you.
How do you go terming her as irresponsible? It is interesting how you realise this only now after sleeping with her severally. A responsible man takes responsibility for his actions and that pregnancy is your responsibility. You should encourage and support her to keep that pregnancy and make sure the child is raised responsibly.
One of the best ways of dealing with adversity is to stay ahead of the information. Let your wife get the information from you before someone else gives her the 'abridged' version. Get her in her best moods, when it is the two of you, preferably, away from home. Be honest with her and together come up with how to deal with the scenario. Be very calm throughout the discussion. The girl is free to inform her parents. Finally, take the responsibility by law or laws of moral justice.
What really has woken you up from your secret doing? Is it because the girl is pregnant? Would you be feeling this repentant if she was not?
Well, this must be a time of deep regret for you and I guess you wish you could conceal all this drama. Keeping this a secret may not be possible, there is a child already involved, and it is not a solution. The best option now is for you to open up to your wife yourself before the rumour gets to her. Do not wait for her to seek an explanation from you.
When you volunteer to give the information, even your apology will sound real as opposed to waiting until she gets to know, then you appear as if you are seeking forgiveness because your private affair has been uncovered and not because you are remorseful.
We cannot tell how she will react but your conduct before now will determine the outcome. That is, if you have been good to her, she is likely to forgive you, but if your behaviour has been a pain to her, then things might be different. That is why you must be the one to disclose this matter to her.
In addition, the child’s welfare needs to be taken into consideration and this is something that the three of you need to agree on. All said and done, make an honest assessment of your relationship so that such incidents can be avoided in future. Sometimes couples slowly drift apart without their knowledge. It is only episodes like this that jerks them to reality. Therefore make every necessary changes that you may have to. Together you can turn and get this relationship back on course and thriving.
(Hilda Boke Mahare has a background in Counselling Psychology)
Ochieng, I more or less understand the situation you are in but I am not sure about what sort of ending you are anticipating through this. Picking from your words you say she is asking you about what to tell her parents but on the other hand you are talking to her and she is not listening? We shall get back to this later but it is somewhat a paradox.
Essentially, I have my fingers crossed that she is actually 18 as you say because anything lower than this can actually turn out to be disastrous for you. If he is indeed 18 the problems are still enormous but of a different nature. If my imagination serves me right, you are trying to get her to sort this matter once and for all through a termination. If this be the case then she is doing the right thing by not listening to you and it is actually very unfair of you to think of putting her life at risk all for your convenience. If she is pregnant with your child I encourage you to deal with the matter as is and not consider unreasonable shortcuts that only work well for you.
I am also surprised that you term her an irresponsible girl but do remember that you repeatedly had sexual relations with her so you are just as irresponsible if not more. This is something you will have to deal with for the rest of your life and with such matters the key is coming out clean on this. Yes, it will have repercussions on you and all the families that are involved in this. There is no other way to dealing with such matters. Come clean and take whatever responsibility that may come from this. You may not need to marry her but as far as the child is concerned, you ought to take your rightful share of responsibilities and support them. Yes, this will impact heavily on your family but since there is no other way to go about this you will have to bear the brunt. On their part, they will need to come to terms with this and learn to live with it. The alternative is to move from that neighbourhood and deal with this secretly for as long as it will be possible.
{Simon Anyona is a relationships counsellor}
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The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print
operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a
leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
Standard Group Plc HQ Office,
The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road.
P.O Box 30080-00100,Nairobi, Kenya.
Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111
Email: corporate@standardmedia.co.ke
I’m writing this letter with tears in my eyes. I’m about to celebrate 30 years of marriage and my wife and I have three grown-up kids and the two boys still live with us at home. Last week, my wife and I were at an event with some of her friends and ended up going back to one of their houses for another drink. When it was time to go home, we called a taxi and I waited by the door for it while she carried on talking to her friends in the kitchen.
One of them asked her if she could go back and do one thing in life that she’s missed over the past 30 years, what would it be?
My wife replied: “Another night with John.” I was totally shocked – John was her ex-boyfriend who she lost her virginity with. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me and had to hold back the tears. None of them saw me standing by the door.
Then one of her friends asked why this was as she has such a good husband and my wife said: “But he lacks in the trouser department and John was a lot bigger and better in bed.” Then she went on to talk about the other four men she’d slept with who were all bigger than me.
I was devastated, not least because she’d always said she’d only slept with one other man before me. At that point, one of her friends saw me and insisted my wife hadn’t meant anything by what she’d said and that she was just drunk. My wife doesn’t know I heard any of this, although she knows something is wrong. I keep replaying it in my head and can’t sleep. How can I handle this? I’m thinking of walking away.
First of all, you have tell her what you overheard and explain how much it has hurt you, and that you don’t know how you can come back from it. I’m sure she’ll feel terrible because she probably was drunk and people do say things when they’re drunk that they’d never say sober.
But whatever she’s comparing you to, the fact is that your marriage has lasted 30 years. If these other guys were so wonderful, why did she choose you and stay with you for all this time? They are exes for a reason.
Whatever her reasons were for saying what she did, you can’t move forward unless you talk about it. She needs to know how hurt you are and you need to give her the chance to explain and apologise for hurting and embarrassing you.
This could obviously affect your confidence in bed and if you feel you can’t move on sexually, then it would be worth seeing a psychosexual counsellor. But I think you should work hard at not throwing away 30 good years for a drunken off-the-cuff remark.
Don’t let your ego and pride kick away everything you’ve built up.
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