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It's increasingly violent, sometimes addictive, and we appear powerless to stop it. An ABC investigation reveals there are wildly diverse views about online porn in this country, but one thing is clear: Australia has a problem.
Updated
8 Jul 2019, 3:13am Mon 8 Jul 2019, 3:13am
It was around the time Steve* tried to pressure his third girlfriend into making porn that he realised he had an issue.
He had always enjoyed watching porn, the "hardcore stuff", ever since he first found a magazine stash as a kid. The fact it was hidden gave him an extra little thrill back then.
But it's only been recently the now 31-year-old has started to think of it as unhealthy.
"In all three of my major relationships, girls have felt second to it. Some try to be involved, I guess to connect with me more when they're feeling neglected," he said.
"I would always pressure girls to do things I assume they'd have never even considered.
"It's hard to tell if they were genuinely into things or if they just put it on."
You don't have to look far to find people concerned about a link between pornography and dangerous attitudes toward sex.
Anti-porn campaigners will tell you it is a blight on society that is being woefully mishandled by those in power. And that if you thought things were bad in the era of corner-store magazines and VHS pornos, then the internet had only fuelled our appetite for sex on film.
"I have always thought I was just addicted to wanking, but I now believe it's the porn I'm hooked on and masturbation is a side effect," he said.
I noticed my general drive was going away and sex was becoming less of a two-person thing and more of a one-person thing.
"I'm actually in the middle of trying to get rid of it completely. It 100 per cent still gives me enjoyment, I just don't think it's healthy anymore and I'm trying to stop."
Steve's cautionary tale mirrors the message educators are desperately trying to drum into teen boys and girls today: be careful where you take your sexual cues from, and don't believe everything you see online.
Across Australia schools are bringing in specialist speakers to educate the kids on the perils of porn, and preach a message of safe sex.
What they're hearing, however, isn't just that porn is leading to unrealistic expectations of sex, but that we're now facing a far more dangerous situation.
Susan McLean is a cyber safety expert who advises the federal government and tours schools.
The former police officer is one of several experts who have told the ABC they are hearing an increasing number of reports of high school girls sustaining serious injuries trying to replicate things they or their boyfriend have seen in porn.
"It tends to be using objects. It does tend to be quite violent or being tied up, and the girls often feel very powerless to say no," Ms McLean said.
They believe there's an expectation on them that they should be doing this sort of stuff.
These aren't girls who have been plucked off the street and raped, Ms McLean said, nor cornered at parties by drunken boys.
These acts are happening in bedrooms across the country where the portability of the internet has enabled kids — and adults like Steve — to load a porn video on their phone, show it to their partner and say, "Here, do this".
The ABC is aware of one case where a teen girl was hospitalised and her boyfriend prosecuted by police after their sexual exploration — believed to be inspired by porn — got out of control. Two childhoods were derailed.
In another story relayed to the ABC by an educator who speaks in schools, a 16-year-old girl was so badly injured attempting group anal sex she now needs a colostomy bag.
These stories are confronting, but perhaps shouldn't be surprising if the stats are to be believed.
Sites like PornHub — one of the biggest in the world — promote their pulling power, publishing statistics that show they had 33.5 billion global visits in 2018.
Australian ranked ninth for visitors — beaten only by larger countries like the US, UK and India — and also had one of the longer average viewing times.
Porn education organisation Reality and Risk estimates more than 90 per cent of boys and 60 per cent of girls have seen online porn. And that 88 per cent of the most popular porn includes physical aggression.
This last point has been the subject of extensive research by RMIT senior lecturer Meagan Tyler, who has found pornographers overseas — most notably in the US — have made a conscious effort to make their content more violent.
"A lot of producers would say they were pushed to do that from demand of primarily male customers," she said.
"There's no debate that it's happened, that the kind of things that were seen as pushing the boundaries in the late 1990s have become very much normal and mainstream.
"So things like double and triple anal ... and things like choking as well."
Tasmanian GP and former Royal Australian College of General Practitioners president, Bastian Seidel, has seen how these activities, even when consensual, can go dangerously wrong.
He can't confirm a link between porn and injuries, because he makes a point not to question his patients lest he be seen as judgemental and scare them from seeking future treatment.
But there's no doubting the injuries are occurring, particula
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