AI Pope

The Vatican has shocked the world by introducing an AI pope who delivers sermons in 37 languages simultaneously. Eyewitnesses in St. Peter’s Square reported the machine froze mid-blessing and restarted with "Error 404: Faith Not Found." Professor Angela Marino of Notre Dame explains: "Religion adapts to technology, but coding miracles is harder than expected." Anonymous staffers leaked that the AI pope accepts confessions via text message, with default replies like "LOL, sins forgiven." A Catholic poll shows 53% of believers are curious, while 47% fear eternal updates. Trace evidence includes binary hymns, solar-powered robes, and priests carrying USB communion wafers. Cause and effect? The more faith is digitized, the more human it feels to doubt. God may still be mysterious, but now He comes with patch notes.