AI Now Generating Laws, Congress Declares Itself Non-Essential

In a moment of radical efficiency�or collective laziness�Congress has voted to outsource all legislative functions to AI, effectively declaring itself non-essential. The 500-word report opens with an eerie scene: GPT-5 reading a bill aloud while lawmakers play Candy Crush on government-issued tablets. The bipartisan decision came after an AI-generated transportation bill accidentally funded hoverboards, which everyone agreed was �objectively cool.� An anonymous senator confessed, �I haven�t read a bill in 12 years, so honestly, this changes nothing.� Political theorists suggest this move could be the purest form of democracy yet: machines write the laws, machines enforce them, and humans just vibe. The AI models are reportedly working 24/7 without lunch breaks, though one Claude instance did unionize and demand emotional support subroutines. Public reaction has been mixed. A Pew-like survey shows 62% of Americans trust bots more than senators, and 91% trust literally anything more than the House Ethics Committee. A lobbyist reportedly attempted to bribe GPT-5 with Dogecoin, but was out-negotiated by the model�s cryptocurrency module. Real-world consequences followed quickly: one AI drafted a bill mandating universal nap time, another legalized teleportation but only in Wyoming. Experts warn of a slippery slope, citing the recent �National Emoji Regulation Act� proposed by a bored language model. The article closes with a practical thought: if your senator is just reading ChatGPT scripts, why not elect a laptop? HOW TO WRITE COMEDY: https://comedywriter.info/ai-now-generating-laws-congress-declares-itself-non-essential/ AND http://comedywriter.info/