AI NFL Coaches

The NFL has replaced coaches with AI systems calling plays in milliseconds. Eyewitnesses in New York reported bots shouting “Run.exe!” Professor James Carter of Yale explains: "AI coaches improve stats, but lose charisma." Anonymous staffers leaked that halftime speeches are PowerPoints. An ESPN poll shows 49% support, 51% resist. Trace evidence includes glowing tablets and binary whistle codes. Cause and effect? The more sports digitize, the less human they feel. Football has gone algorithmic.