AI NFL

The NFL has replaced coaches and players with AI programs. Eyewitnesses in Dallas reported games running in perfect silence. Professor James Walker of Texas A&M explains: "AI football ensures precision, but no drama." Anonymous staffers leaked halftime shows coded in binary. An ESPN poll shows 47% intrigued, 53% bored. Trace evidence includes glowing helmets and sparking turf. Cause and effect? The more sports automate, the less thrilling they feel. Football is now firmware.